Weddings make people crazy...and other helpful hints

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

In the past week and a couple of days, two girls I know quite well have gotten engaged. Love is in the air! It seems like these things happen in bunches: three couples will announce they're knocked up within a month; two friends will get new jobs in the same day, and so on.

I've been married a little less than one month now so clearly I'm the authority on the subject of marriage. Actually, I do have a little bit of advice, not about being a good wife (ha!) but about planning a wedding. It was both the biggest rush and the biggest drag of my life. I was stressed, panicky, irritated and totally anal, but at the same time, putting all that time and energy and planning into a special day can't help but be exciting.

So without further ado, here are a few little things to watch out for when planning the big day.

Be prepared for lots of questions you'll get tired of hearing.
From the initial "Soooo, have you set a date yet?" it begins--a barrage of queries you're going to hear hundreds of times. Take a deep breath, because it'll be one after another until you walk down that aisle. First, you'll have to tell your engagement story--how did he propose? Question number two and three: have you set a date? And where's the wedding? You'll be asked what your colours are, your flowers, your meal, your first dance song, all the details, big and little, about your day. You'll hear these questions from people who you've already told, and you'll be pissed off that they didn't listen when you told them the first time.

Don't poo-poo at shopping online!
I didn't try on a single wedding dress. I ordered my dress from J. Crew for $350 and it fit when it arrived. I hung it in the closet and crossed "dress" off my list. There was no agonizing, no trying on dozens of gowns, no tearful dressing room episodes. That being said, the dress was not a big priority for me--I saw it as something to wear for a few hours and never again--good thing too because I stepped in dog poop during the outdoor photo session. Which leads me to my next point...

Things are going to go wrong.
For me, there were a few things on my wedding day that threatened to send me over the edge. Number one: stepping in dog poop (thank goodness my aunt had a Tide pen in her bag--it saved the day). Number two: my grandmother, who lives 10 minutes away, was a no-show and now there's HUUUUGE drama family-wide, like excommunication-level bad. Whoa. Looks like we're out of the will. Number three: a baby that screamed throughout the entire ceremony. That's all I heard the entire time. Point being, realizing in advance that some things are going to be less than perfect makes it easier to accept when it happens.

Don't be afraid to ask for help or accept offers of help!
We had lots of offers of help and I generally turned them down thinking that people were just trying to be nice and no one wanted to be burdened with helping me with my wedding. In the last few days before the wedding, I started finally delegating things to my family and felt SO much better. I realized people actually do want to help. If someone's offering, take them up on it!

Martha, Martha, Martha
The wedding planning tools on Martha Stewart's website are amazing. I am convinced I wouldn't have made it to my wedding if not for these amazing, FREE helpers. Plus, after your wedding, submit reviews for five of your vendors and get a free gift reward (I'm getting an gift certificate).

Weddings make people crazy.
Otherwise sane people get crazy at wedding time. There will be extreme behaviour during and around your wedding. People will cry, people will be pissy for no's like weddings elevate emotions (and not just for girls!) They bring out the best and worst in people. It's the strangest thing to witness. You'll see weird traits in people you never realized before.

It's YOUR day!
We weren't totally traditional with our wedding. We didn't do a garter toss because I think they're disgusting. I didn't wear a veil and we didn't have a traditional guestbook or a father-daughter dance. But my dad did walk me down the aisle, I threw the bouquet, I wore something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Whether you want to go traditional or modern or a mix is up to you. If you want a short dress or a long dress it's up to you. Whether you want a sit-down dinner or a cocktail reception is up to you. People will try to choose things for you and it's easy to feel pressured into going along with them. Ultimately, it's your wedding and your choice...make sure you choose what makes you happy!

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  1. Amen!

    I completely Agree! I was just married in the summer and you really nailed this one.

  2. Thanks! I was shocked to see just how nutty weddings make people :o

  3. I cant believe a baby cried during your ceremony...well really I cant believe the parents let it. If that was my baby i would of left instead of letting it cry during the whole thing.

  4. Yeah.. me and weddings? Not compatible

    I'd want a huge feast, a cute dress and cute shows, but that's about it.

    No party, no ceremony, nothing mussy and fussy