Growing up, we didn't have a microwave because microwaves cause cancer*. We didn't have cable TV because in a place called Frosty Hollow you need rabbit ears with steel wool pads on the tips to get ANY reception (three channels, thankyouverymuch)--forget about the cable company bringing any service to that backwoods riff raff. And, for some reason unbeknownst to me, we didn't have a dishwasher.

I had my very first dishwasher experience when I moved into Clayton Park with my ex-roommate, who we'll call Melissa Kennedy. We thought we were pretty high rollers because our apartment was on two levels, had two bathrooms, and yes, a dishwasher in the kitchen. I was a lost babe in the woods. I had no clue what to buy or how to run the dishwasher. Melissa Kennedy had to teach me what to do and where to put the cleaning stuff and even how to load the bloody thing. From that very first wash cycle I was hooked. Never again will I have dishpan hands! I crowed. The modern technologies made me feel luxurious, pampered, spoiled. I vowed to never wash a dish again.

I moved out of Clayton Park and in with H2B after a falling out with Melissa Kennedy that involved her bulimic friend eating all the food out of my fridge and cupboards one night after the bars. (To be fair, it was the straw that broke the camel's back after months of issues, but seriously??? Keep a handle on your drunk, emotionally fragile, binging frenemy or at least replace the $200 worth of food INCLUDING AN ENTIRE BOX OF CREAMSICLES FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. I still haven't gotten over that.) Aaaanyway, H2B's lovely apartment also had a dishwasher. And when we decided to take our living-in-sin to the next level and pick out a new den of iniquity together, we made sure it had a dishwasher, too.

I think I could live without other appliances. You can make substitutes for almost anything else. Think about it. No stove? Get a countertop griddle and a toaster oven. No microwave? You can do without. No coffeemaker? Buy a kettle and drink instant coffee. But there is no substitute for a dishwasher. The dishwasher can be neither imitated nor duplicated.

I'm spoiled now and I will never hand wash a dish again. It's saved me countless hours (probably weeks! months!), being able to fire the dishes into the dishwasher rather than slaving over a sink full of suds and feeling up grody food remnants and crusty pots and pans. NO THAAAANKS.

Thanks Mama Kat for the prompt! :)

*My parents FINALLY bought a microwave when I was 22 or so. They admit it has changed their lives. Popcorn consumption in their house has gone up ten thousand percent. And so far, no one has acquired cancer.

Today I was informed of the following link, which is one of the best blogs ever, particularly if you work in the advertising/marketing industry: THINGS MARKETING PEOPLE LOVE.

I had a laugh and a half reading through the posts and realizing how disgustingly accurate this list is.

The first thing I noticed about my peers at my first agency job was an onslaught of black clothing--specifically, black shirts--and funky-framed glasses, in particular on the creative team. The wearing of Chuck Taylors also prevailed. There are Starbucks ventis aplenty if you look around the desks in our office along with plastic ninja toys.

There's also lots of marketing-speak that would be lost on an outsider. This blog references "tapping into" things but listen in for a minute and you'll also hear, "viral app", "low-hanging fruit", "organic spread", "the core idea" and much more.

Advertising is such a weird profession. I find it ironic how much whoring goes on that we try to skew as wholesome and clever. Not literally whoring, at least for the most part, anyway, but whoring of ideas and products and brands. We're like pimps and our client's products are our little hos. Is this even making sense? It's been a 12+ hour day, after all.

Whoring or not, I like it. Luckily for me, I enjoy black t-shirts, overpriced sushi, Keynote, and awards. Let the stereotypes live on!

I spent the weekend in New Brunswick. It was a laid-back couple of days, including:

-first beach day of the year
-a TON of reading
-coffee with my parentals
-falling asleep in the yard
-running on the treadmill (watching Talladega Nights makes 45 minutes go by much faster)
-eating strawberries that were just picked, like, 10 minutes earlier
-hanging out with this hairy beast:



It's weird how every time I'm home for more than a day, my priorities and my personality swing completely the opposite of what they are in the city. New Brunswick Amy and Halifax Amy are so different.

New Brunswick Amy is happy to spend time at home with a book, sans electronic devices. She doesn't have to factor in traffic issues or parking time if she's going anywhere. She is never in a rush, wears shorts and tank-tops, and doesn't blow dry her hair. She carries cash. She has one coffee a day and drinks it sloooooowly in the morning and listens to country music in the car and waves at everybody whether she knows them or not, and they wave back.

Halifax Amy is attached to her BlackBerry and cannot ignore the red blips. She freaks out at traffic tie-ups and cries about the lack of parking downtown. She dresses up every day. She blow-dries her hair every morning. She is stressed out, frazzled and hateful. She never bothers with cash because every place accepts Visa and debit, no questions asked. She drinks tons of coffee and eats snacks all day and is cranky. She listens to gangster music that all sounds the same and swears and gestures at other drivers.

I think I need to find a way to incorporate more NB Amy into Halifax Amy. HaliAmy is kind of a bitch.

This morning, I wasn't feeling a 6AM run and opted for a swim at the Sportsplex instead. I put on my flippy-floppies (no plantar's warts on me!), packed up my towel and drove to the Sportsplex, arriving at the same time as throngs of gentleman's league hockey players, aka old men.

Bleary-eyed, I made my way to the front desk where there was a bored-looking university girl working. By "working" I mean watching YouTubes. "Is there a lane swim right now?" I asked.

She tore herself away from TEH INTARWEBS and checked a schedule, then peered at me. "Well, there's an ADULT lane swim this morning," she said. "Buuuuuuuuuuut, how old are you?"

I was flabbergasted:
a) I LOVE getting ID'ed. Love, love, love. Especially first thing in the morning sans makeup and grooming!
b) I could not remember my age.

I stood there for several awkward sections, eyes rolling back in my head, trying to remember how old I was. I HAD NO IDEA!! All I could think was "1981....1981...." I could remember my birth year but I couldn't do the math. She might as well have asked me the square root of 1,342,434,094 or how to build a spaceship. Zero clue.

FINALLY I stammered. "Uhh, 28. I had to think about it. Huh huh!" feeling like the world's biggest assclown.

"Oh wow, you look really young. No offense," said YouTube.

No offense? Seriously? It made my day. I'm not sure what the cutoff age for Adult Swim is. It's not like drinks are served or strippers are bouncing around the pool deck. Besides myself, the combined age of the other three people in the pool was probably 1,000 years old. Not the liveliest group.

But as I backstroked for 45 minutes, all I could think about, besides swimming in a straight line and not ramming into the side of the pool, was the fact that I had no idea how old I was. Am I getting Alzheimer's? Is this a sign that I am indeed aging? Am I among the elderly? Am I forgetting my age or just consciously trying not to remember? Should I be worried that I don't know how old I am or happy that I don't care?

I decided to be happy about it. Embarrassed that I can't answer one of the basic facts about myself on the spot, but thrilled that I can pass for a teenager and a little pleased about not being so panicky about my age that it's constantly top of mind. I clearly don't feel 28 and someone thinks I don't look 28 either: win-win.

I was tagged by Renee to do this little quiz, which is great because a) now I don't have to come up with a post idea on my own--yay laziness! and b) my favourite thing to talk about is myself.

The Rules
1. Respond and rework: Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.

2. Tag 8 other people.

The Questions
What is the thing that makes you happy? Beach days. Sadly, there haven't been any yet this year, but my fingers are tightly crossed for this weekend.

Coffee or tea? Coffee, for sure--with fat free hazelnut creamer--although I'm starting to get into having a cup of tea in the afternoon.

What’s for dinner? Last night I had chicken and rice. Tonight, it'll probably be a salad: greens, strawberries, almonds, and grilled chicken.

What was the last thing you bought? Lunch yesterday...veggie quesadilla and salad.

What are you listening to right now? H2B calling me a twit

What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? That's hard...I really like my long American Apparel hoodie...it's a little too long to wear with jeans but can be worn with tights and boots. I have an LBD that I've had for a while that always fits well no matter how gross I'm feeling.

What is your favourite ice cream flavor? Birthday Party!

What do you think of the person(s) who tagged you? She's a great storyteller and also shares the NB connection with me, so that's fun :)

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Home for a visit.

Which language do you want to learn? Russian

What is your favorite color? Cranberry red, baby yellow

If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on? So that's like $200CDN? Pool membership and a new pair of jeans.

What book are you currently reading? New Moon...#2 in the Twilight series...ughhh

Describe your personal style? I try to look somewhat professional and I guess you could say classic. My goal is to avoid looking dated in pictures. I've read that you don't want people 20 or 50 years from now to look at your photos and be able to pinpoint exactly what period of time they were taken in...that's when you know you're doing it right.

What are you going to do after this? Brush my teeth and pack a lunch.

What are your favorite movies? Love Actually, Mean Girls, American Beauty, Slumdog Millionaire

What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, blueberries, apples, pineapple, I love all fruit :D

Do you collect something? NAH

If you could change your name to anything, what would you call yourself? Something with more than 3 letters!

How many times do you press the snooze button before you get up? probably twice

What is your favorite smell? fresh baked bread, Coppertone, lilacs

What is your biggest regret? No regrets!!

What are you most proud of? Zero debts, no student loans, no car payments...

Cats or dogs? Dogs. They are kinder and cuddlier and don't have snotty attitudes. You can manipulate dogs into liking you...I like that

What’s your biggest fashion mistake? Scrunchies

What is your guilty TV pleasure? Every show I watch is an embarrassing guilty pleasure: The Hills, Gossip Girl, Big Brother, The City. If I'm going to waste time watching TV I'm making it as mindless as possible.

What did you want to be when you grew up? It changed almost daily: veterinarian, teacher, author, architect

How do you see yourself in ten years? I'll be 38 (!!!) Hopefully with a couple kiddos, owning a home, happily married to H2B with a lot more stamps on my passport and stories to tell. I just want to be comfortable.

What is on the walls of the room you are currently in? A big black and white print of the Brooklyn Bridge, three black cube shelves

What are you doing tonight? Hopefully going for a swim and a run and getting some addresses for wedding invitations.

What are you wearing? Bright blue dress and a while cardigan!