What's My Age Again?

Friday, July 10, 2009

This morning, I wasn't feeling a 6AM run and opted for a swim at the Sportsplex instead. I put on my flippy-floppies (no plantar's warts on me!), packed up my towel and drove to the Sportsplex, arriving at the same time as throngs of gentleman's league hockey players, aka old men.

Bleary-eyed, I made my way to the front desk where there was a bored-looking university girl working. By "working" I mean watching YouTubes. "Is there a lane swim right now?" I asked.

She tore herself away from TEH INTARWEBS and checked a schedule, then peered at me. "Well, there's an ADULT lane swim this morning," she said. "Buuuuuuuuuuut, how old are you?"

I was flabbergasted:
a) I LOVE getting ID'ed. Love, love, love. Especially first thing in the morning sans makeup and grooming!
b) I could not remember my age.

I stood there for several awkward sections, eyes rolling back in my head, trying to remember how old I was. I HAD NO IDEA!! All I could think was "1981....1981...." I could remember my birth year but I couldn't do the math. She might as well have asked me the square root of 1,342,434,094 or how to build a spaceship. Zero clue.

FINALLY I stammered. "Uhh, 28. I had to think about it. Huh huh!" feeling like the world's biggest assclown.

"Oh wow, you look really young. No offense," said YouTube.

No offense? Seriously? It made my day. I'm not sure what the cutoff age for Adult Swim is. It's not like drinks are served or strippers are bouncing around the pool deck. Besides myself, the combined age of the other three people in the pool was probably 1,000 years old. Not the liveliest group.

But as I backstroked for 45 minutes, all I could think about, besides swimming in a straight line and not ramming into the side of the pool, was the fact that I had no idea how old I was. Am I getting Alzheimer's? Is this a sign that I am indeed aging? Am I among the elderly? Am I forgetting my age or just consciously trying not to remember? Should I be worried that I don't know how old I am or happy that I don't care?

I decided to be happy about it. Embarrassed that I can't answer one of the basic facts about myself on the spot, but thrilled that I can pass for a teenager and a little pleased about not being so panicky about my age that it's constantly top of mind. I clearly don't feel 28 and someone thinks I don't look 28 either: win-win.

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  1. I haven't gotten IDed since I was, like, 13.


  2. Also, there's no question that any random person would place me 5-10 years older than you. When, in fact, you're, what, 5 years older than me?

    Again, HATE

  3. I think you were just caught off guard

    SWEET :)

    I get asked what I'm majoring in college too.. LOL

  4. @Joel You are a hateful boy! E-hate?
    @FB Yeah, last night we were out to dinner and were asked "Do you guys go to school here?" Ha...not for yeeeeears :)

  5. Ha! I got carded a few weeks ago when I bought a 6-pack of beer for my dad. The guy standing behind me in the checkout line told the cashier I looked about 18. The cashier and the guy both looked pretty surprised when I told them I was eighteen plus ten. :) Looking so young is AWESOME!

  6. ha. Your blog is hilarious Amy. Long live the babyface! Joel Kelly doesn't get to be in this club! ;)

    I stopped into a Volvo dealer last week and the lady sales rep couldn't believe I was old enough to buy a car or be married. too funny. She even asked me "how do you do it?". What kind of question is that..? How do I do what? look young? I told her I eat right, drink wine, tweet, run 30 mins a day and play video games. Exactly like that... no joke. She kind of annoyed me. Oh well.

  7. I ALWAYS forget my age, and I've definitely paused for WAY too long when people ask. After 21, there's no real landmark b'day for a long time. Each year flies by faster than the one before, and the number seems more and more arbitrary. From now on, I think I'll answer "20-something" - not because I'm ashamed of my specific age, but because it's easier than remembering the actual number.

  8. hah! awesome. i got id'd showing up to The Hangover the other day at the theatre and I'm 29 ;) but the best is when you think you're a year older than you actually are until someone reminds you! Then you get an entire year for free. haha...it's awesome, believe me.