Growing up, we didn't have a microwave because microwaves cause cancer*. We didn't have cable TV because in a place called Frosty Hollow you need rabbit ears with steel wool pads on the tips to get ANY reception (three channels, thankyouverymuch)--forget about the cable company bringing any service to that backwoods riff raff. And, for some reason unbeknownst to me, we didn't have a dishwasher.

I had my very first dishwasher experience when I moved into Clayton Park with my ex-roommate, who we'll call Melissa Kennedy. We thought we were pretty high rollers because our apartment was on two levels, had two bathrooms, and yes, a dishwasher in the kitchen. I was a lost babe in the woods. I had no clue what to buy or how to run the dishwasher. Melissa Kennedy had to teach me what to do and where to put the cleaning stuff and even how to load the bloody thing. From that very first wash cycle I was hooked. Never again will I have dishpan hands! I crowed. The modern technologies made me feel luxurious, pampered, spoiled. I vowed to never wash a dish again.

I moved out of Clayton Park and in with H2B after a falling out with Melissa Kennedy that involved her bulimic friend eating all the food out of my fridge and cupboards one night after the bars. (To be fair, it was the straw that broke the camel's back after months of issues, but seriously??? Keep a handle on your drunk, emotionally fragile, binging frenemy or at least replace the $200 worth of food INCLUDING AN ENTIRE BOX OF CREAMSICLES FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. I still haven't gotten over that.) Aaaanyway, H2B's lovely apartment also had a dishwasher. And when we decided to take our living-in-sin to the next level and pick out a new den of iniquity together, we made sure it had a dishwasher, too.

I think I could live without other appliances. You can make substitutes for almost anything else. Think about it. No stove? Get a countertop griddle and a toaster oven. No microwave? You can do without. No coffeemaker? Buy a kettle and drink instant coffee. But there is no substitute for a dishwasher. The dishwasher can be neither imitated nor duplicated.

I'm spoiled now and I will never hand wash a dish again. It's saved me countless hours (probably weeks! months!), being able to fire the dishes into the dishwasher rather than slaving over a sink full of suds and feeling up grody food remnants and crusty pots and pans. NO THAAAANKS.

Thanks Mama Kat for the prompt! :)

*My parents FINALLY bought a microwave when I was 22 or so. They admit it has changed their lives. Popcorn consumption in their house has gone up ten thousand percent. And so far, no one has acquired cancer.