mamamonday: want to make $100 an hour?Monday, January 16, 2012
At this point, I will pay $100 per hour of uninterrupted sleep I can enjoy during the night. All you have to do is listen for Eli to cry, and when he's hungry, feed him. I'll even pump bottles of milk for you - all you need to do is warm them up. That's it. Just be on guard for the hungry cry and feed the baby when he wants to eat. And maybe change his bum once a night. Easy peasy, right?
I'm definitely being overdramatic here, but a full night's sleep is the thing I crave most in the entire world right now. Not chocolate, not wine, not a spa day, not an exotic vacation. I want sleep. At nine weeks, Eli's still up twice a night most nights, which is completely normal for nine-week-old babies but still blows for me and Papa Bear. Our nights usually look like this, give or take half an hour here or there:
7:00 - 7:30: Bedtime. Sleeps 4-5 1/2 hours.
Between 11:00 and 12:30: Eats. Back to sleep for 3-4 hours.
Between 3:00 and 4:00: Eats. Back to sleep for 3 hours.
Between 6:00 and 7:00: Awake for the day.
So unless I can stay awake until around 11:00 and feed him right before bed (which doesn't happen very often...I usually pass out by 9:00) we're up twice a night to eat. I'm probably getting between six and seven hours of sleep a night, maybe eight occasionally, but it's all broken up so it feels like a lot less. I know I shouldn't complain...it could be soooo much worse. Plenty of babies insist on eating every two hours through the night, sometimes more often. He's also been great about recognizing the difference between night and day since he was a newborn - I have heard horror stories about babies that have their days and nights mixed up, want to party all night and can't be budged during the day. We're fortunate in a lot of ways.
We asked our doctor about baby sleep schedules and she said that until three months, it's normal for babies to be up every three to four hours during the night and that Eli seems to be pretty typical for his age when it comes to sleeping at night. It's likely that around three or four months his sleep stretches will get longer and his schedule will start settling out so we'll probably just have to keep on keepin' on until then.
I bought Becoming Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The trouble is I don't have time to read them. Why do baby sleep experts insist on writing these humungous books? Does a new parents really have time to read a frigging encyclopedia on how to get their kid to sleep? Someone needs to make a one-page guide to baby sleep. That's what I want. I want a synopsis to both of the above books. I will also pay you $100 per hour to read the two books and write me 400 words or less summarizing each. Essentially, I want someone to just tell me what to do, because I'm not very good at figuring it out by myself.
Or, you know...leave it in the comments for free out of the goodness of your heart?