mamamonday: time for a changeMonday, January 09, 2012
The past three nights haven't been bad in terms of our little man's sleep schedule. He's out around 7pm, sleeps until at least midnight, then is usually up around 3:30 or 4 to eat before waking around 7am for the day. Translation: we're now getting three good, solid chunks of sleep at night and are feeling less like death by day.
But one day (night?) last week, before all the awesome sleepage begun, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror circa 3:00 AM and was so shocked at how hideous I looked, I actually did a double take. Obviously, 3:00 AM isn't the kindest time for anyone's appearance but this was baaaaad.
There are only four good reasons to be up at 3:00 AM:
1. power puking
2. shoving donair pizza into your face like it's your job (this will also lead to #1)
3. making poor sexual choices
4. feeding your new baby
Guess which one I was doing?
Anyway, "haggard" doesn't begin to describe it. It was kind of like this:
I know I've been tired but come ON. I've chirped for months about how having a new baby is no excuse to look like crap, yet here I go resembling feces. Sure, it was the middle of the night, but I've been looking like ass during the daytime too. I decided there are a few things I need ASAP.
1. A new hairstyle.
Every time I mention getting a haircut Peter cries and starts wailing about "mom hair". Unfortunately, anything above my elbows constitutes "mom hair" in his book. What is it with guys and their long hair obsession? Of course I'm going to go ahead and get it cut anyway. When a man carries a child for nine months, gives up caffeine and booze and ALL THE THINGS and then expels the child from his body, only to be attached at the boob to said child for months afterward, then he can do whatever he likes to his hair.
2. A good concealer.
I don't know any good undereye concealers - please help!
3. Non-flannel, non-slutty PJs.
It's hard to look and feel even semi-attractive when you're wearing plaid flannel pants and a t-shirt with baby fluids all over it. Granted, it'd be a bit awkward and inappropriate getting up in the night to feed Eli in a thong or a teddy (confession: I'm not even sure what a teddy is, only that it's some sort of skanky nightwear). There must be a happy medium in jammy land.
4. Bright lipstick that doesn't make me look like a clown.
I keep reading how wearing lipstick is the quickest way to brighten up your face. If there's brightening to be done, I need it.
If anybody has any tips for how to not look or feel like 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag while on mat leave, please share in the comments!