mamamonday: time for a change

Monday, January 09, 2012

The past three nights haven't been bad in terms of our little man's sleep schedule. He's out around 7pm, sleeps until at least midnight, then is usually up around 3:30 or 4 to eat before waking around 7am for the day. Translation: we're now getting three good, solid chunks of sleep at night and are feeling less like death by day.

But one day (night?) last week, before all the awesome sleepage begun, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror circa 3:00 AM and was so shocked at how hideous I looked, I actually did a double take. Obviously, 3:00 AM isn't the kindest time for anyone's appearance but this was baaaaad.

There are only four good reasons to be up at 3:00 AM:

1. power puking
2. shoving donair pizza into your face like it's your job (this will also lead to #1)
3. making poor sexual choices
4. feeding your new baby
Guess which one I was doing?

Anyway, "haggard" doesn't begin to describe it. It was kind of like this:

...except she has better hair. More body and bounce.

I know I've been tired but come ON. I've chirped for months about how having a new baby is no excuse to look like crap, yet here I go resembling feces. Sure, it was the middle of the night, but I've been looking like ass during the daytime too. I decided there are a few things I need ASAP.

1. A new hairstyle.
Every time I mention getting a haircut Peter cries and starts wailing about "mom hair". Unfortunately, anything above my elbows constitutes "mom hair" in his book. What is it with guys and their long hair obsession? Of course I'm going to go ahead and get it cut anyway. When a man carries a child for nine months, gives up caffeine and booze and ALL THE THINGS and then expels the child from his body, only to be attached at the boob to said child for months afterward, then he can do whatever he likes to his hair.

2. A good concealer.
I don't know any good undereye concealers - please help!

3. Non-flannel, non-slutty PJs.
It's hard to look and feel even semi-attractive when you're wearing plaid flannel pants and a t-shirt with baby fluids all over it. Granted, it'd be a bit awkward and inappropriate getting up in the night to feed Eli in a thong or a teddy (confession: I'm not even sure what a teddy is, only that it's some sort of skanky nightwear). There must be a happy medium in jammy land.

4. Bright lipstick that doesn't make me look like a clown.
I keep reading how wearing lipstick is the quickest way to brighten up your face. If there's brightening to be done, I need it.

If anybody has any tips for how to not look or feel like 10 pounds of shit in a five-pound bag while on mat leave, please share in the comments! 

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  1. Post Partum "tricks"

    Concealer? If you don't use mineral makeup like bare minerals, try any brand's YELLOW concealing stick. It kind of looks like a tube of lipstick or lip gloss. Sparingly dabble it under your eyes to counteract dark circles and then top with a light concealer a little lighter than your natural color. Voila! 12 hours of sleep! Or at least that's what you'll look like.

    Try a coral hued lipstick with blue undertones, that way it seems more natural AND if you forgot to brush your teeth it will also give an appearance of whiter teeth. Hey, we can't all be put together first thing in the morning.

    That's all I got. Hope it helped!

  2. I actually laughed out loud when I saw your photo choice for this post! I think there are definitely some non-mom hair cuts that are shorter and more manageable! You might be surprised about how good it looks too if you've had long hair for so long!

    Also, I'd go to The Bay or Sephora and get them to help you find a good undereye make-up. Lancome makes a good one.

    For PJ's LaSenza has a crazy blow-out right now, and a lot of their PJ's look so comfy and not totally PJ like. Go for the Christina Applegate Up All Night look.

  3. I don't have the answer to all of these but I do have your concealer solution. I have tried them all and these are the best (can be worn together in emergency)



    Also, tell your husband to get over it and go get your hair cut if it'll make you feel better!! You deserve it!

  4. I use Benefit Erase Paste for my undereye nonsense. Also, as far as PJs go, I wear like, exclusively VS Pink for loungewear and I love it. It's cute (albeit a little on the young side, but I look like I'm 12 anyway, so who cares) and comfortable.

  5. Oh, the long hair debate.

    I heard on some tv show that men like long hair on women because it makes us look feminine and youthful. As well, healthy hair means that we are healthy and able to have lots of babies.

    So, tell Peter that you've just had a baby, therefore you have proved that you are all of the above, and then make yourself an appointment and chop it all off!

    If you feel like it is time for a change in the hair department, go for it. I can't recall you having a shorter do, worth the try. I have done it, like it for a while and then start letting it grow. You won't know until you do it.

  6. Aimz-

    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE MAC's Studio Sculpt concealer. Full coverage but doest get nasty and crepey under the eyes (hello, i'm 29 and those wrinkles? Not fair)

    CUT. YOUR. HAIR. If you aren't sure, think of how short you THINK you'd go, then do half if you are scared. You can always go get more hacked off later :) Steve likes my hair short, but i'm B.O.R.E.D. with it, so i'm growing it out. Again. Until I tire of that and chop it off. Again.

    Ps. Eli is adorbs.



  7. A new thread or two helped.. A morning shower and prep before the babe and world demanded of me helped (I know...a lot to ask right now.).

    All your goals sound good. I think "alone time" is key, too: Walks, strolling a shop, getting some coffee. Mental makeovers were a BIG DEAL for me. (:

    If you find some other good pointers, I'd like to know, should I get my fool self into another one o' these newborn situations.

    Good luck, mama.

  8. I can't speak for dealing with mat leave..but a couple of things that always wake me up and make me feel/look fresh... face wipes..not only do they wipe off any dirt/oil/leftover makeup..but they also just wake me up..

    Also...a tinted moisturizer is quick and gives you a great way to "smooth" your look out..I love Smashbox's tinted moisturizer...also finding a good concealer is a must..go to Sephora or Ulta and ask for help

    Last but not really helps open up your eyes even when you feel like death walking. Good luck!

  9. I heard this was the best:

    And my husband is the same way with my hair. I don't get it. It's not like he does anything with my hair anyway. I always tell him that when he pushes the equivalent of a watermelon out of hose, then he can decide these things for me. Or a baseball out of his peepee hole. I win a lot of things (like my kettlebell set) this way ;)

  10. Do you have MAC makeup there? It's wonderful. It makes me look semi-human.

    I don't understand men and their long hair deal either. It drives me NUTS. I cut mine to my shoulders once and Joe almost died. Now it's past the middle of my back and drives me nuts. After the wedding (July) it's getting chopped and blonde. Yup, blonde.

    A little advice: Don't look at yourself in the mirror at 3am ever again. I've been there, it's no cool.

    Victoria's Secret has cute jammy sets. So does GAP. The ones I got from The GAP are cotton (thinner cotton) with a button up top and pants. They're grey with pink dots and super comfy. PLUS the fact that they're a button up top makes for quick trips to the Breastaurant for Jules ;)