Vampires Suck.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

If I were granted a superpower of choice, it would be the ability to kill vampires--therefore, I guess I'd be a werewolf.

Here's why: there is way too much vampire bullshit in the world.

Twilight.
True Blood.
The Vampire Diaries.
An entire section of Chapters devoted to Twilight knockoff books.

Memo to teen girls: Vampires are not your friends! Someone sucking your blood isn't sexy. In addition to being gross, it's also fatal, and stupid. That's my articulate take on vampires.

They suck. (literally. Hardy har har!)



Therefore, if I had the opportunity to adopt any superpower, my choice would be pretty obvious. I'd love to be able to wipe out vampires, including fictional ones. Sorry, Robert Pattison and Sookie and Bill. Your days are numbered, fools.

Team Jacob!


Thanks to Mama Kat for the prompt inspiration!

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13 comments

  1. BenSeptember 24, 2009 at 9:17 PM

    1) We're no longer speaking.

    2) The new blog layout is sass.

    3) Number one starts....NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmySeptember 24, 2009 at 9:34 PM

    You're sass and you won't escape talking to me. I have your work email!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KKSeptember 24, 2009 at 9:43 PM

    I definitely agree!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 24, 2009 at 10:17 PM

    Lol I've always thought it was weird/interesting how vampires became SEXY. Seriously. So weird.
    And yeah, I kinda like Jacob better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kim LehnhoffSeptember 25, 2009 at 3:21 AM

    Can I lobby for you to keep Dracula around? That book's a classic.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jeney PeneySeptember 25, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    I would just like to go on record saying I was a vampire fan long before the Twilight/True Blood/Vampire Diaries things spun out of control. And I mean like circa Monster Squad era, here!

    Sparkling vampires do piss me off, though.

    ReplyDelete
  7. lindseySeptember 25, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    Love the blog renos — I usually keep up through Google Reader, so I didn't see it until now — very nice!

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousSeptember 25, 2009 at 11:10 AM

    The main reason for this is Twilight. After it went big, everybody's trying to cash in on the craze so they are doing the only thing they can: do their own spin-off of it. I do agree that it is way too much. I really like Twilight, but I really think that all the craze has ruined it.

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  9. Margaret aka: Fact WomanSeptember 25, 2009 at 4:44 PM

    I agree. They are not sexy in any way.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sarah TownsendSeptember 25, 2009 at 7:30 PM

    I agree with you but I do love True Blood, SORRY. Also, why don't you have a SocialVibe widget up on your blog? You know we are in the Blogger widget gallery now!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AmySeptember 27, 2009 at 9:43 AM

    @KK I just don't get the appeal!

    @Katy I definitely preferred Jacob in New Moon. I'll give the other books a chance but I can only take them in small doses!

    @June Dracula can stay. He gets a free pass on account of being old-school

    @Jeney Oh, the sparkles are not good. NOT GOOD!

    @Lindsey Thanks ma'am! ;)

    @Renee I blame Twilight, one thousand percent.

    @Margaret Amen, sista!

    @Sarah I didn't know about the SocialVibe widget...gonna get me one of them thurr widgets

    ReplyDelete
  12. RaineSeptember 29, 2009 at 11:10 PM

    Agreed!

    ReplyDelete
  13. AmyOctober 1, 2009 at 4:18 AM

    Vampires are gross. Everyone wants to make money off of them now. They are the new trend, just like frozen yogurt places. I think I saw another preview today for a new vampire movie...so lame.

    ReplyDelete