Welcome to the neighbourhood.
Monday, July 26, 2010How can I put this in a way that doesn't make me sound like some sort of gross nudist pervert? I'm not always the most diligent about wearing clothes when I'm home. Years of living in apartments with no windows in the bathrooms, kitchen, etc. will do that to a person.
You're ready to hop in the shower and realize you left something in the bedroom, you don't bother covering up to go grab it...at least I don't. I'll just run out in the buff to get it. I'll be getting ready for work and the dress I want to put on is in another room. I don't get dressed to GET DRESSED, if you know what I mean. Peter doesn't complain and I don't think I've flashed any bits to any unsuspecting victims.
Anyway, I've gotten into the habit of being au naturel pretty often; not in an unsanitary way (I'm not sitting at the dining room table completely nekkid or playing Guitar Hero in my birthday suit), but yeah, I do prance around the house in various states of undress on the regular.
Saturday night was our first night spent in the new house. Sunday morning, I was home alone and needed to get dressed. Let me preface by saying the house is still quite a disaster zone...we're sleeping on the floor in the spare room and our clothes were in giant black garbage bags piled on the living room floor. So I went downstairs to find some clothes in my very natural state. Hunkered down over the garbage bags, I cheerfully searched away for the ones labeled "Amy" on a quest for a pair of shorts.
And then I realized...we have neighbours now. Neighbours right across the street. Neighbours who can easily see right into our living room windows through our very sheer curtains and are probably choking on their eggs and toast at the sight of my white ass in the air. I hit the floor and slithered, random shirt and shorts in hand, into the sanctuary of the kitchen. More windows! There was nowhere to hide! I squatted in front of the stove and yanked on my shirt (backwards) and shorts (inside out) in record time, panting and feeling very much like a deer that just dodged a pack of hunters and vowing not to parade around in the buff unless the blinds are securely covering the windows.
Lesson number one: do not let your neighbours see your bathing suit areas, especially on your first morning in the neighbourhood.
6 comments
Haha, fantastic! :) Our house has its pros and cons in terms of locale... it's on a short little street with about 4 other houses facing the river, so nobody looking in that way, however the BACK of the house faces the parking lot of the local Legion. Which is always full of old fat guys and rough ladies smoking and Talking Loudly and... glancing into my bathroom window where I may or may not be clothed. I really need to invest in blinds lol
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhhh. I know the feeling. Your post had me in total sympathy with you. Blinds are your friends. At least for the sides of the house with neighbors close by!
ReplyDeleteEmily Jane--you need blinds stat! the legion crew are definite peepers!
ReplyDeleteLost in You--we definitely need to get to bed, bath & beyond as soon as possible :)
Don't worry about it. Most people aren't busy looking into your windows and if they are, they are creepers anyways. :)
ReplyDeleteBefore having the kid, we were also a little lax with the clothing around the house. Luckily we've always had blinds!
ReplyDeleteI hear you LOUD and FREAKING CLEAR on this one.
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