According to my girl Martha Stewart and her fabulous planning tools, I have 200 days left of being an unmarried woman. Hoooo, doggies. 200 days until I'm a wife. I don't
think I enjoy the word "wife". Is that a bad sign? JUST KIDDING, PETER!

I have been giving a lot of thought as to whether or not I'll change my last name after the big knot-tying. To tell the truth, I'm still swinging back and forth more than Lindsay Lohan's sexual orientation.

As a kid, growing up with a last name that starts with "W" sucked. I was always near the end of the class on roll call. Anything that involved alphabetical order meant I'd be waiting and waiting, and I've never been patient, even as a kindergartener. I remember vowing to marry someone whose last name started with A--preferably two A's (Aardvark??)--so I'd move to the top of all alphabetical lists.

Then, I decided I'd change my name only if my future husband had a really cool last name, like Van der Somethingeuropean, or a really porn-star-ish name...something so dirty that no one would ever forget it. Of course, I never really figured I'd get married, so I didn't expect to have to actually consider this in any seriousness.

I have given it a bunch of thought and I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep my last name for several reasons:

-I've always been Amy Wheaton. It would be weird to suddenly, after 27 years, have a new name. I'd have to get used to writing and saying Amy Hubbyslastname, and it would be weird and awkward and I'd have to titter like a moron and coo, "Oh well, I just got married and, hee hee, I don't really know what my name is anymore!" And then the lady at the bank says "OHHHHHHH, WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO HAVE CHILDREN??" And then I punch her in the neck and go to jail, H2B starts having an affair with the pharmacist's assistant, and *poof* the marriage is kaput and we're just another statistic. WOMP WOMMMMMMP.

-There's mucho paperwork involved in name changing, and I hate the DMV and other associated torture chambers with the passion of 1,000 fiery suns. Plus I'm guaranteed to forget one crucial piece of documentation which will probably result in me not getting my tax return money back or some manner of identity theft or something equally horrendous.

-"People know me". That's a bit of a joke, but a little bit serious too. Having to explain myself every time I ran into an old friend or acquaintance, former coworker or client, industry folks, etc. would get old quickly. If I'm having to reintroduce myself with my old name all the time anyway, why not make it easier for everyone and keep it as is?

So, as of today (and I'll probably change my mind 2,000 times in the next 200 days) I think I'll stick with the status quo. It's not for any feminist reason, it's not because I feel the need to diss tradition or because I don't think H2B has a lovely and suitable last name. Right now I'm thinking purely from a functionality point of view. Does it make sense to take on this new persona after I've made it 27 years just fine with the name my parents gave me? What's in it for me? A new sticker to go over my driver's license information and a lot of confusion. I'm OK with Amy Wheaton. I think she can stick around even after we've tied the proverbial knot.