Three words
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
In my family, we don't tell say "I love you" unless it's a momentous occasion: someone has died, someone's just been born, or there's some sort of grave emergency. It's not that I don't think my parents love me, and I'm sure they know I love them. It's just not something we say. We're like that with hugging, too. Hugs are for funerals and weddings and the day you drop your kid off at college. There's an awkwardness there - it just feels unnatural. It's not right or wrong, it's just how we do things.
I can't remember when we stopped, or why. I know when I was little, I gave my parents a hug and a kiss before bed every night, and then I just stopped doing it at some point, and that was it.
I give Eli dozens of hugs and kisses every day and tell him I love him all the time. He'll hug me back, but his kisses are questionable. It's more like biting my cheek or chin and then cackling like a fiend. I tell Peter I love him all the time as well.
What harm can it do, telling the people you love how you feel, and telling them often?
Even when Eli gets big and embarrassed by his lame mom and doesn't want to be hugged anymore, too bad. I am going to tell him I love him every single day.
12 comments
I have the same situation. My mom is pretty much emotionless when it comes to positive emotion which was really hard growing up. After the first time I said I love you to Matt, I couldn't stop. I say it to him all the time, especially to my puppy Basil and I often picture how I will embarrass my unborn son when he is old enough to not wanna be a mamas boy anymore.
ReplyDeleteIn uni my friends hugged. It was weird. But I secretly loved it even though I recoiled on occasion. When I have close friends around I love their hugs and I often forget just how good it is to hug. I miss hugs. Now that we've moved out to Halifax and don't have those people as physically close as we would like we don't get them from anyone else but each other - which is still good!
All we can do is try something different with our own kiddos.
I'm sure Eli will always secretly love it too!
I bet both our boys will love it! I plan on embarrassing the crap out of him!
DeleteOh man that's how I grew up. A hug freaks me the hell out to no end. However, with my husband I hug and kiss the guy as much as possible and say I love you any chance I get. Same with my dog. I have friends who will say "Love You" when they end a conversation and I'm like woah uh ya bye. Awkward!
ReplyDeleteI like hugs...just not with my family. Probably because I associate them with funerals and other traumatic events :)
DeleteI couldn't agree more :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure our boys will love it!
DeleteSaying I love You is huge for me... I might even say it a few times a day. Sometimes I say it and with a serious look on my face I'll stare at my hubby and follow up with, "No... You don't get it, I really, really love you..."
ReplyDeleteDo you ever feel like saying I love you just doesn't get the point across? This makes me think of the song Chasing Cars; "Those three words, are said too much, they're not enough"...
Actions speak louder than words sometimes, for sure.
DeleteI say "I love you" to Topher at least ten times a day. My family isn't remotely touch feely. My mom will say "Love you!" at the end of a phone conversation but I think that's the only time she ever said it, even growing up. I don't think my dad's ever said it. I think it's important to verbalize it! Topher is going to refuse to bring his friends to our house when he's older :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'll have to try to scale it back when his friends come over!
DeleteLove this :) I'm also a mushy-musherkin with Avery. There is just no good reason to hold back.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I can't wait till he can say it back!
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