35 weeks & 5 days. Smuggling a basketball.

Yesterday marked one month till our due date. When I realized that, I spent the rest of the day being very shrieky, weepy and agitated. I can't believe we'll be parents in less than a month and I don't feel ready. It doesn't matter how much I read What to Expect and Becoming Babywise - nothing can prepare us for the real thing. I flip-flop from being excited to meet him or her, wishing the days would fly by, to terrified and wanting October to last forever.

What if the baby hates us? What if it won't eat? What if it cries nonstop? Will it be healthy? Will it sleep...ever? What if we drop it? What if we forget to take it for its needles? What if we leave it at a restaurant?

I'm a giant stressball. You name the worst-case scenario, I have played it out in my head.

But then, I spent a bunch of yesterday afternoon laying on the couch scratching the baby's footies and feeling them kick back and it helped calm me down a bit. It was like baby was saying, "look, mama, you need to get your shit together because we're going to be just fine." And as weird as it sounds, taking time to "play" with the baby really helped me feel better.

I'm sure everyone thinks this about their baby, but I can tell that ours is a little character already. For one thing, it's very punchy/kicky and not at all shy. If it sticks out a body part and you rub it, it doesn't pull away, it pushes you back. It's definitely not a wuss. It's also going to be a big eater, judging by the amount of hiccups I feel every day. It dances when there's music on.

As for me, I'm feeling good overall. Being on limited activity sucks but I have been going for little walks, errands here and there, and will be taking longer walks after getting the doctor's OK this morning. And maaaybe Pilates again next week.

I miss working, and I miss just being able to do stuff, like clean my house or just get in the car and go somewhere. I'm tired of alternating between the same five shirts, three pairs of pants leggings and half a dozen dresses I've been wearing for the past three months.

But overall, we've been lucky and I've been feeling great for the past almost nine months, so I can't complain - if wardrobe woes and being bored are my worst problems, we're doing well. I want to enjoy this next few weeks as much as possible, get as prepared for bambino as I can, and fit in some me time too.