34 Weeks / This is why I'm hot

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

34 Weeks & Five Days!
If you can see this post, it means we're still hanging in there at 34 weeks. It's been more than two weeks since the great escape attempt and baby seems to have settled down happily in the ute. Every day closer to full-term, I do a little fist pump. Keep cooking, baby!

However, it has been brought to my attention that the past couple of weeks have been my sexiest ever. Without further ado, here are a few of the reasons why I'm a hot piece lately:
  • This weekend I bought pads for after the birth - big kahuna maxipads, like the size of actual surfboards. Also, nursing bras. There's a reason the Victoria's Secret angels don't wear nursing bras. They look like my first training bra, except saggier and more geriatric. Wearing one makes me feel like a kangaroo. I don't know why. 
  • Burping every five minutes. 
  • Having my bazooms spontaneously start leaking while playing Yahtzee. 
  • Looking like I'm smuggling a basketball. 
  • Wearing sexy outfits, as demonstrated above, every day. 
  • Wearing said sexy outfits with briefs, not thongs. I normally do not wear briefs unless I'm at the gym or in bed, vomiting, close to death. I don't even know myself anymore.
I apologize to my husband every single day for my sad state of affairs, and I promise that one day...one day...I will get my groove back. Just not right now. Right now, my one and only concern is being a good baby-cooker. 
Enough about my sexiness. On to the fetus!

How big is baby?: As big as a honeydew melon! He or she is about 18 inches long and weighs around four and a half to five pounds.

Weight gain/loss?: At my doctor's appointment last Monday, I got in a bit of trouble as I'd lost four pounds. Being in the hospital, stress, not being allowed to eat for a day, hospital food wartime rationing portion sizes, etc. all conspired to make me drop some weight. Since I've been home I've been eating like it's my job, which is hard, because the baby takes up all the space that used to be available for food. I'm hoping I've gained some weight (this is the only time you'll ever see me utter those words).

Maternity clothes?:  Being home every day = zero effort into my appearance, so leggings and yoga pants have been my uniform, topped off with tank tops or t-shirts. If I feel like getting fancy I'll put on a cardigan or a scarf. I have bought two pieces of maternity clothing in total: one shirt and one dress, both from H&M. I find the price of maternity clothes is appalling. Who wants to pay $39 for a gross purple t-shirt you're going to wear for two months and makes you look like an elephant?

Food cravings?: I crave pumpkin spice-flavoured stuff, but I think that's more of a fall thing and less of a baby thing. I haven't had any baby-related cravings.

Movement?: It braces its feet against the left side of my belly and stretches out against the front, trying to rip through the skin. It's amazing how hard the baby pushes on me sometimes!

Belly button?: It has arrived, and it is spectacular. And oh, so itchy. I slather on vitamin E oil every night to help with the itchies and prevent stretch marks (none yet, knock on wood!) and come to bed with a greasy-looking basketball belly. Peter is so lucky. If you haven't picked up on the memo yet, I am a sexy beast.

Aches and Pains?: Just Braxton Hicks, which send me into a panic every time. Ute needs to quit toying with my emotions and sanity like that.

What are you looking forward to this week? Getting some more days under our belt and inching closer and closer to having a full term baby. Also, Thanksgiving! My family will be in town Sunday for our big Thanksgiving meal. Peter and I are in charge of doing the vegetables, cranberry sauce, and a pumpkin pie, Mom is bringing the turkey, stuffing and gravy and my sister is making another dessert. Thanksgiving is definitely giving Christmas a run for its money as favourite holiday - it's got all the good food and family shenanigans minus the pressure to buy presents.

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  1. so pleased to see you are still in one piece! Its so funny to read about the pads and bras and takes mke right back there. Please can I just say - take more than one pair of PJ's into hospital, I didnt and you will need them. Also make sure the bottoms are dark - you get my drift. Also, if you plan on nursing buy all your stuff. I forgot this (I was crap!) and had to ask darling hubby to bring in nipple cream and nipple shields as I was not good at the whole breastfeeding lark, he turned up with nappy rash cream and breast pads! Fab!!!

  2. Woo hoo for 34 weeks. You look great, all belly. Which is far better than me at that point- my thighs and face also thought they were carrying babies. I bought maternity bras but never really wore them, I found if was just as easy to pull down my regular bra. On thing I used a lot while I was at home was nursing tanks, they clipped at the strap. I wore them pretty much everyday for 3 months.

  3. Natasha - thank you for the tips! Your comment made me think of the guy that packed his wife's coming-home outfit and brought a thong, sneakers and a dress to the hospital :)

    Mallory - it's definitely all belly right now. Rolling over in bed is becoming quite the effort!

  4. Yay! I'm so excited that you're having a baby!

    And I have a good feeling about you making it to at least 36 weeks... hang in there!

    My thoughts are with you :)

  5. Girl I still think you look HOT! And there are some sexy nursing bras from Elle Mcphereson that are ridiculously priced...though I don't see the point in dressing up your boobs when they're acting as milk ducts for your baby, hah. And I hope your baby cooks for as long as possible! I had an ultrasound/appt today and they said our dude was head down, I'm dilated and the baby is ready to go...I HOPE not. I want him to cook longer and be nice and healthy too!

  6. Also...I posted about this not to long ago but I feel you on the gas part. Except mine is coming out the other end. I ran downhill and every step I would pass gas VERY loudly. I don't care anymore haha.

  7. take this in the least creepy way possible- you still look good pregnant. friends of mine (one had a boy, the other's having a girl) "blossomed" all over the place. they make me consider adoption--- you make me think that it's possible to not be a whale.

    im a bitch... i know... but no, i'd never admit the above to those friends.

  8. Thanksgiving - there's your excuse for weight gain!!