For the past three days, I've been enjoying a much-needed work hiatus to get geared up for my new job, which starts in, uhh, less than an hour OMG!!!!

It's like I've been living the life of a stay-at-home-mom...minus the children, I guess. More like a stay-at-home-mofo.

Being home on a weekday felt weird for the first few hours. There was no one to hang out with. There was no good morning TV to watch. Drinking in public felt a little awkward, particularly before noon. However, after the preliminary "oh shit, I have three days to kill, what am I going to do with all this free time?" I settled into my temporary role as SAHM and loooooved it.

Great things about being a stay-at-home-mofo:

1. You can eat whenever you want. At work, you might get some funny looks if you're working on breakfast #3 before 10AM. People might roll their eyes if you're eating spoonfuls of peanut butter from the jar, and getting PB on your office attire is not professional. At home, you can nom whenever the urge hits, and if you spill on yourself, you change! Bam, shamwow!

2. You can have a beer whenever you want, provided you stay in your home. No explanation required as to why that's awesome!

3. The Price Is Right is actually really good. I got over my "I hate Drew Carey" sulk in a hurry over three days. I screamed at the TV, I jumped up and down during Showcase Showdown and booed whenever some assclown bid one dollar.

4. Wal-Mart has crazier characters out shopping on a weekday than on the weekend, so if you get bored, just stop into your local WM for 15 minutes. I used to think the weirdos came out on Saturday mornings...oh no. Hit that shit up on a Monday afternoon and you'll see all walks of life, my friends. It was like that website People of Walmart right in my own neighbourhood. But you never see these people OUTSIDE Walmart. WHY IS THAT?

5. A clean apartment is a happy apartment. I cleaned a LOT. Four loads of laundry, scrubbed out the microwave after steaming it with vinegar, shone up the bathroom, dusted and swept and felt great afterward. I always feel better after cleaning but I usually put if off as much as possible so as not to eat into my precious weekend time. This week, it was actually fun (!!!) to put on some music and get to work.

6. Time goes by slower on weekdays. I thought it was just that time goes by slowly when you're at work, but nope, when I was home Monday-Wednesday, time definitely passed by at a slower rate than it does on weekends. So the only explanation is that it's a government conspiracy to increase productivity--they have sped up the clocks on Saturdays and Sundays to get us back to work quicker. Doesn't that make so much sense?

7. Money also loses its value on weekdays. AKA I spent too much money on things I don't need. Stores are less crowded, there's more to see, and there's more to buy. Oh dear. I guess I needed two new pairs of shoes to reward myself for all that hard cleaning.

The life of a SAHM is an enviable one indeed. I have a feeling it wouldn't be much different with kids. They just sleep all day, right?

Anyway, off to the new job for me. Luckily it's about a five-minute drive so I can afford to be flouncing around on the Internet right now. And, OK, I may have been up for hours already with the first-day butterflies. And I may be totally ready to go and all I need to do is walk out the door as soon as I can stop dry heaving. Happy Thursday!