mamamonday: The Swimsuit Conundrum
Monday, June 04, 2012Over the next week or so, Eli and I will be donning waterproof diapers (well, one of us will...I'll let you figure out who) and hitting the pool at our gym so he can splash around and have fun in the water.
Problem: Going to the pool requires putting on a bathing suit. Not such a concern for my little guy. He's proud of his hot bod and loves to show it all off. The less clothing he's wearing, the happier he is.
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| check out these stems! |
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| you can look at the guns...but don't touch |
Namely: WHAT DOES ONE WEAR TO A MOM-AND-BABY SWIM?
A mom-and-baby swim is not your typical day at the beach. Choosing beachwear is easy. Painful and embarrassing but at least you know what's expected.
On the other hand, the last mom-and-baby swim I attended was in 1981. Times have changed. I'm about to go into the snakepit, people. Judgey moms with their judgey eyes and judgey babies bobbing around - just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
"Don't even worry about it! All the moms will be focusing on their own babies and too busy to pay attention to what the others are wearing!" you say.
Well, YOU are wrong. Fellow moms, you know what I'm saying. You've been sized up when you're out with your baby. You could just be running errands at the grocery store or walking in the park, and you see another mom approaching with a stroller. And she eyes you up and down, and it's approximately 1000 times more obvious and ego-crushing than being mentally undressed the creepiest creeper at the skeeziest bar. They're looking for a smudge of sweet potato on your pants, a trace of spit-up in your hair, gauging your dark circles, making sure your earrings match and hoping they don't.
Judgey moms are bad enough on dry land. Enter a setting where everyone's almost nude and stress levels skyrocket. If I wear a one-piece, will that make me the dowdy frump mom of the group? If I wear a two-piece, will I be regarded as the slutty mom who's almost 100% sure she kinda knows who her baby's dad is?
So many questions and concerns. Colour me bewildered.
I just ordered this bathing suit from Old Navy. I figure it'll be a safe choice for our first foray into the murky waters of the Sackville Sports Stadium children's pool. This suit doesn't scream "I'm here to steal your husband", nor does it proclaim "I give up on life." I hope it says "I am a sane, balanced individual who appreciates fun colours and nautical trends. I love my husband and likes to have a glass of wine on a Friday night but definitely not more than two and only after the baby goes to bed LET'S BE FRIENDS!!"
I hope.
17 comments
Blimey, this sounds like a nightmare, I am from the UK where new moms didnt check out if you earrings matched or what you wear to the pool. They are just slightly more relieved if you have more cellulite than they do. I have to say I am pleased I didnt go through all this worry.
ReplyDeleteI wear an all in one black suit but then I am old at 37! Good luck with it all
Basic black is a safe choice too! I debated that but couldn't resist the stripes.
DeleteOne piece suits are supposed to be all the rage these days!! Rock it:)
ReplyDeleteAnd, man, we women are super hard on each other! Isn't it bad that we are hard on ourselves?
It's crazy! Ladies can be so super critical of one another :(
DeleteNice choice! I'm lucky at the moment because I can opt for my maternity suit for J's swimming lessons, but I don't look forward to finding one for afterward. You can't go wrong with one-piece. There's only one mom at lessons who wears a bikini and she stands out like a sore thumb ... she's also the mother who brings her sons (one of whom has to be at least 8) into the women's changing room. There's a family room for a reason!
ReplyDeleteWe should take our boys swimming together sometime :)
Do you go to the stadium too? I wore maternity suits last summer and complained about them at the time, but it definitely made "what to wear to the beach" a lot easier to decide!
DeleteGood choice :) I always wear a one piece - well, with the exception of our honeymoon in Hawaii. I'm super self conscious - and super flat. I have nothing to hold a two piece in place!
ReplyDeleteLast summer I wore maternity tankinis - I hate even typing that word :) So it's been a while since I've been in a two piece. Our first beach trip should be interesting.
Deleteshould of known you would pick something with stripes! lol I love it!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, I'm supposed to be on a stripes ban! oops...
DeleteI went to a baby and me swim class as a nanny one week when the parents couldn't make it and there was such a range of people! Young moms, older moms, a grandpa and a grandma. I can't remember any of the young moms wearing a two-piece. I think the suit you picked was great! (And truly, you're not focusing on anything but singing the ridiculous songs and swinging the baby around like you're supposed to!)
ReplyDeleteI didn't know there was singing involved!
DeleteGirls can be catty, but we're our harshest critic. I'm sure you'll look fabulous, girlfriend!
ReplyDeleteThis is true! Thanks lady!
DeleteNice to see you expanding your colour selection on the stripe front :)
ReplyDeleteOur class had women of all ages and even a couple of dads. Couple of bikinis (all the power to them), one pieces and tankinis. One woman wore a tank top over her suit so you'll be fine. Just get in and out of the water quick. Towels on the pool deck helped me feel better. Don't forget your flip flops, those floors are gross!
Haha yes...stripes that aren't black or navy is living on the edge for me! Towels and flip flops will definitely be accompanying me to the edge of the pool :)
Deletei just made sure to sign up for the class when DADDY could make it, too, so i never had to go in ;) i think most of the other moms had the same idea because there were always more dads in the water than moms.
ReplyDelete