"Numbchuck skills...bowhunting skills...Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills"Wednesday, November 09, 2011
- The art of applying eyeliner. I feel like I have weird eyes or something, because when I try to replicate what looks hot and effortless on EVERYONE ELSE I end up looking like a raccoon with an allergy problem. I can do the upper lash line of my right eye, no problem. When I try to do my left eye the line gets all crazy and crooked. Then I don't know what to do with the bottoms. Inside the rims? Outside? Why is it smudging? Why does it make me look so tired and haggard? Why does everyone make it look so easy? No one has ever taught me to apply eye makeup correctly so I'm like a lost baby in the woods. I usually just end up wearing lots of mascara, which is like frozen pizza: impossible to eff up.
- Getting my hair to hold a curl. I have straight, thick hair and it doesn't like to curl. I even invested in a fancy curling iron but all I seem to be able to do is get the ends to flip up. Am I holding it wrong? Wrapping it wrong? Do I need to be using product? Should I just give up?
- Painting baseboards and trim. I can use all the painter's tape in the world and it still looks like our trim was painted by high children. Solution: Install wider, pre-painted trim.
- Making perfect scrambled eggs. I know that the secret is to cook them over a low heat and they turn out perfectly fluffy and pro. I get alllllllmost to that point - and then I get impatient and crank the heat. And the eggs end up browning. So we've waited 35 minutes for meh eggs. Not worth it.
- Driving a standard. I've tried and failed. I have shed many tears over my inability to drive a standard, especially when I look around and see complete idiots doing it left, right and centre. My problem is letting the clutch out too quickly and stalling the car every single time. Well, I have places to go and I don't have an hour to sit around letting my clutch out all day.
What supposedly "easy" tasks do you find impossible?