Three things I'll never apologize for

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

1. Being a working mom. 
When Eli was a baby, I felt a little bit (a lot) of mom guilt about going back to work. The phrase "I didn't have kids so someone else could raise them 40 hours a week" stuck in my head and I had allegedly well-meaning family members and acquaintances telling me how we could "make it work" on one salary so I could stay home with Eli. My mom stayed home with us as children, so it's pretty clear how my family felt about the situation.

Bottom line: I like my job and I enjoy working. Eli is happy during the day. He's well looked after and he gets to play with other children his age. There is absolutely nothing regrettable about our situation.

2. Taking days for me. 
Every couple of months I like to take a vacation day and spend it by myself. I usually go get a massage, go to the gym, take the dog on an outdoor adventure, and cook a delicious lunch (or treat myself to sushi). I'll spend some time with a latte and a good book or a mini marathon on Netflix. Sometimes I'll go shopping.

I've been asked, "What are you and Eli going to do on your day off?", met with surprise when I reply that Eli will be going to the sitter's. Here's why I don't feel bad about taking days for me: Monday through Friday, I leave the house at 7:20 for work and I get home at 5:30 or later, then spend the evening with Eli and Peter. On the bus to and from work, I'm surrounded by people. At the gym, I'm surrounded by people. I love to socialize as much as the next extrovert, but believe me when I say that once in a while it's pretty nice to spend a solid seven or eight hours not feeling the need to make conversation. I feel like taking a day to myself makes me a better mom, wife, contributor at work, and so on.

3. Keeping weekends free. 
I used to love nothing more than filling up my calendar on Saturdays and Sundays but now, a weekend with no plans is pretty much my favourite thing. Our weeks are so jam-packed and busy that by the time the weekend rolls around, R&R is the first thing on my mind. We usually spend a big chunk of Saturday catching up on stuff we didn't get to during the week: cleaning, grocery shopping, errands, you know, things that keep us healthy and sane. So Saturday night and Sunday are reserved for straight chillin'.

Once in a while I'll think about it, like, are we lame? Is it stupid to be going to bed at 10pm on Saturday night and spending all day Sunday looking at Pinterest, going for a run, cooking lunches for the week and taking Eli to the museum?

Answer: Not at all. Don't feel guilty about it one bit.

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