Craving a change

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I am a creature of habit, as boring as that may sound. I'm not great at being spontaneous most of the time. I have a very set routine before I go to bed - everything must be done in order. I have a system for getting stuff done at work. I'm happy with eating the same breakfast almost every day (English muffin with peanut butter and banana). I plan my meals and my outfits on Sundays for the week ahead. Some people thrive on chaos and excitement, but I need order and structure and routine to feel safe, comfortable and happy.

Lately, I've been wanting to shake things up. Not in a "ditch everyone, quit my job, shave my head, and spend a year stumbling around the Middle East" kind of way.

But I've been craving a little change of scene. I think it's the end (hopefully? soonish? PLEASE??) of winter and the beginning of spring that makes these feelings kick in. A new season, new just makes me think about changes.

It starts with jotting down ideas to reorganize a hall closet, and then all of a sudden I'm drafting a plot for a novel or a business plan outline, or trying on drastically different hair colours and styles in one of those online simulator things, or printing out a training plan to run a full marathon, and everything I've been doing feels boring and wrong, and all I can think about is making waves, getting crazy, doing something new and different.

It happens every year. I stifle it and ignore it, and eventually it goes away. The sun comes back, the snow melts, patios and beaches beckon, I get busy and stop plotting for a while. I change my mind. I don't have the time/money/perseverance/drive to do __________.

What I need to do is figure out a way not to smother my little spark. Fan it a bit, add a little fuel, see what happens. Learn how to finally stop making plans in my head and start getting them down on paper, nurturing them and letting them grow. I need to learn how to get comfortable with the idea of change. Doing something is always better than doing nothing, right?

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  1. Hi Amy! Yes, you definitely have to ignite the spark. My boyfriend always quotes (I forget the origin), "In any situation the best thing to do is the right thing. The next best thing to do is the wrong thing. The worst thing to do is nothing." I agree, doing something is always better than doing nothing :)

    1. Thanks for this! Doing something is always better than doing nothing - need to remember that!

  2. I think if you just let yourself try it, even a little bit of it, you'll get somewhere. That's what we did with our business. I'm the same way. I love order and routine. I always hatch crazy ideas in my head. Now I'm in the mind of, fuck it, let's go for it. I did shave my head, or part of it, to know what it was like to have a shaved head. It's something that I've always thought of. One day I might go for the whole thing. Matt and I started Love & Anchor Wedding Cinematography last summer. We registered the business and then we're like ,holy shit, this is real. Now that's what I'm doing from home, running a business. We hope to make that our only source of income in the long run and it all started with a spark.

    Just try it!

    You might like it.

    1. ps. you should share your posts in the halifax bloggers group!

  3. I have to give you huge props for having such a set routine. Maybe it comes with being a Mom? I'm the complete opposite, although so many things in my life are organized and balanced - I lack structure in almost everything you've mentioned above. I hate every morning thinking, "Shit, what am I going to eat for lunch today!? I'll just worry about it later..." I hate scrambling for an outfit idea an hour before I have to be at work. I go without breakfast a lot, I change my hair color and style every few months, I set goals to start working out more and they go down the drain before I even get to the gym.

    I want to LOVE my hair and never feel I have to change it. I want to have the same breakfast every morning, dammit.

  4. someone once told me "change is the only constant - if you fear change you will forever be unhappy" I was worried that I found that a little harsh but now, its my mantra