Craving a changeTuesday, March 19, 2013
I am a creature of habit, as boring as that may sound. I'm not great at being spontaneous most of the time. I have a very set routine before I go to bed - everything must be done in order. I have a system for getting stuff done at work. I'm happy with eating the same breakfast almost every day (English muffin with peanut butter and banana). I plan my meals and my outfits on Sundays for the week ahead. Some people thrive on chaos and excitement, but I need order and structure and routine to feel safe, comfortable and happy.
Lately, I've been wanting to shake things up. Not in a "ditch everyone, quit my job, shave my head, and spend a year stumbling around the Middle East" kind of way.
But I've been craving a little change of scene. I think it's the end (hopefully? soonish? PLEASE??) of winter and the beginning of spring that makes these feelings kick in. A new season, new beginnings...it just makes me think about changes.
It starts with jotting down ideas to reorganize a hall closet, and then all of a sudden I'm drafting a plot for a novel or a business plan outline, or trying on drastically different hair colours and styles in one of those online simulator things, or printing out a training plan to run a full marathon, and everything I've been doing feels boring and wrong, and all I can think about is making waves, getting crazy, doing something new and different.
It happens every year. I stifle it and ignore it, and eventually it goes away. The sun comes back, the snow melts, patios and beaches beckon, I get busy and stop plotting for a while. I change my mind. I don't have the time/money/perseverance/drive to do __________.
What I need to do is figure out a way not to smother my little spark. Fan it a bit, add a little fuel, see what happens. Learn how to finally stop making plans in my head and start getting them down on paper, nurturing them and letting them grow. I need to learn how to get comfortable with the idea of change. Doing something is always better than doing nothing, right?