GPOYW: "I'm alone in the office making faces at my computer" edition. I have my bangs pulled back today because they're at that awkward, needing to be trimmed stage and I'm not sure whether to cut them again or grow them out.

Exhibit B: With bangs:



I'm not sure what to do. Why do bangs grow so much faster than the rest of the hair on my head?!

Any thoughts? Snip or grow?

I'm too shy to go to a sex store to buy penis-shaped accessories for a bachelorette party.

My sister's stagette is Saturday and today I went shopping for it. I got all the standard dollar-store accoutrements: the veil, the boas, a dice game, a scavenger hunt, et cetera. But something is missing from my bag of hot pink fun and games: there is a distinct lack of wang.

Unfortunately, Dollarama and the Great Canadian Dollar Store don't sell weiner paraphenelia, being respectable family environments, so my only option is to go to a bona fide sex shop. And in my town, such establishments are either (a) in sketchy neighbourhoods with unsavory characters lingering around outside looking for God knows what, or (b) in the very centre of the city located at the corner of an extremely busy and well-lit intersection.

So basically I have two choices: get shanked and left to die in a gutter full of empty Tim Horton's cups, or have clients/coworkers/friends/neighbours (because I KNOW someone's going to see me slinking through those doors no matter how sneaky I try to be) think I'm some sort of role-playing sexual deviant out shopping for strap-ons or flavoured lubes or whatever vibrating contraptions they sell.

I don't understand this shyness! Number one, I'm not shy. Number two, I'm not a prude. Number three, if someone told me they were too skeeved out to go to a sex store, I would make fun of them. When the shoe's on the other foot? I can't do it!

Because of my hang-ups, my poor (lucky?) sister is going to have a stagette party that's penis-free, unless there are some gutsier bridesmaids in the wedding party that are willing with putting their lives on the line to get a cup that's shaped like a wang.

I did pick up a bum pincher...



Look out!

Halifax is getting a new Coach store today and when I first heard it was opening, I got very excited. But the more I think about it, the less of a hoot I give. Here's why:

I'm cheap.

Coach doesn't really apply to me. Upon browsing their websites, it appears that the cheapest shoulder bag is $298.00. That's about...$248.00 more than I've ever spent on a bag. As pretty as they are, I simply can't justify spending 300 bucks on a bag. Yes, I know it's an investment. I know that you take the total price of the bag and divide it by the number of times you'll wear it over the course of a lifetime and it actually costs JUST PENNIES A DAY!!

For example, let's have a look at this little number, the Alexandria. *swoon*



Price: $358.00
Frequency of Wear: 3x/week
Duration of Wear: 6 years

3 x 52 = 156 x 6 = 936
$358.00/936 = 38 CENTS PER WEAR

How affordable is THAT!? Yet for some reason, I'd rather pay $25.00 for some canvas shit at H&M that I wear maximum 10 times before I spill an entire double rum and coke inside it and have to throw it out.

For me, it's easier to justify spending money on something that's more boring practical--new furniture or a car tune-up.

Never mind that the bag is kind of an investment. And I'd use it practically forever. And it is totally necessary. After all, how can you carry things without a bag?! And it would go with everything. And it's pretty.

I might go to Coach today, after all. Just to look and browse and stuff. I might pat one of the bags. I might try it on and practice carrying it around. But I won't be buying anything. No sirree. Not this bear.