Fancy Restaurants

Thursday, August 13, 2015


Last night, the boys surprised me with dinner at one of our favourite Italian restaurants. It was Eli's first time there, and we've been spending a lot of time pushing the notion that when we go to a "fancy restaurant" he has to behave himself - i.e. no roaming around, use your quiet voice, stay in your seat, eat your food. (To clarify, "fancy" = any establishment that doesn't provide cardboard antlers or chicken fingers on the menu and where cloth napkins are used.) Our prep work was successful and we enjoyed a delicious, calm, incident-free meal, the perfect midweek treat.

I am a big believer in bringing babies and kids along to do "adult" things and go to "adult" places - some locales notwithstanding, obvi; I wouldn't take Eli to the Dome or plop him on the treadmill next to me at the gym. But nice restaurants, art galleries, dinner parties, travelling - YES. One of my pet peeves is parents bemoaning their lack of a social life because of their decision to have children. "We can't take any more trips since we had kids!" "We only eat at McDonald's these days because that's the only thing Logan likes." "I don't have time to go to the gym anymore because I'm so busy with the kids."

I'm firmly in the camp that when you have children, they can - and will - adapt to your lifestyle, for better or worse. You don't need to give up the things you love when you have a baby. Instead, it's an opportunity to introduce your new little person to your favourite things, experiences, places, foods. In our case, we've tried to include Eli whenever it's appropriate, and for the most part, it's worked out well. We traveled to Jamaica and Boston as a family of three, and recently we've started talking about taking him to Europe. We take him to "grown up" get-togethers, he comes with us to coffee shops and pubs and he's cheered me on during every race I've run since he was born.

I feel like when you give up the things you love "for the kids", it actually benefits no one (unless, of course, you're giving up your pack-a-day habit or your crack addiction or whatevs). You stop working out to spend more time with your children, but as a result you become unhealthier and more stressed because you no longer have that outlet. You quit going to book club and suddenly you realize you've only talked to your spouse and your children during the past several weeks. You don't do date night anymore because getting a sitter is such a hassle and the next thing you know, you're pooping with the bathroom door open because who even cares anymore. It pains and irritates me to no end when I see parents just completely letting everything go "because of the kids". You are still you.

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9 comments

  1. So awesome! You wouldn't believe how often we hear, "Do it now while you still can!"
    Like, really? It's that bad?
    I've said it a million times before to my husband and to my friends, I have full intentions of traveling, dining out, or just picking up and going wherever we usually go - with our child in tow. Whether it be to Halifax every other weekend like we do now, Mexico or a "fancy restaurant"... Kids won't stop us. (I've been laughed at, trust me - but I'll do my very best!) Why is that so hard for some people?

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    1. People said that to us too and it used to drive me up the wall. Obviously we've cut back on some of our running around, but there are plenty of places where children are welcome - it doesn't mean you're spending every day and every night cooped up inside your house until your kids hit 18!

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  2. I wholeheartedly agree! You can't stop being you just because you have kids. We include our children in "grown up" get togethers whenever we can - they have a whole lot of extra aunts and uncles as a result :) Topher is actually a lot more comfortable carrying on a conversation in the adult world than he is with kids his own age. Oops.

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    1. Eli is the same! If we're at a playground or in a situation where there are kids of different ages, he'll gravitate to the older kids rather than ones his own age. He's an old soul, I guess!

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  3. Agreed, athough I have to say that can completely change when you have two. Its like having 6 kids, not another one of what you already have.
    My two are awesome (now they are a little older) and we have always taken them everywhere anyway but it was significantly more challenging when there were two. Your energy is so much more depleted.

    Also, all children are not alike. I love children but have met some monsters that have wonderful parents that try so very hard but the kid has a demon personality

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    1. For sure some kids are demons. I think in that case it's even more important for their parents to maintain some semblance of a normal life - freeing each other up to go to the gym, out with friends, etc. and trying to acclimate the kids to social situations so they can hopefully learn how to behave.

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    2. I am so glad I dont have one like that

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