Dear Mom on the iPhone: IT'S OK.
Friday, April 05, 2013
Every morning, when I scroll through my Facebook feed, I'm bombarded with asinine posts and updates. I consider deleting my account, but I keep it for pure comedic relief and daily visual affirmation that I made the right choice when I got the eff out of my hometown.
(And party invitations. Mostly I'm scared of missing out on party invitations.)
Anyway, lately, a few people posted this gem, Dear Mom on the iPhone, and I'm so glad it was shared, because I wasn't aware that if you use your phone in the vicinity of your children, you're missing out on their lives, stunting their development, and making them sad. Children are sad when you don't stare at them 24/7. They don't like it when you do things like go to work in the morning, or go to the bathroom, or blink your eyes.
Give me a break. You know why I'm on my phone when my son is with me? Chances are, it's something to do with him and his well-being.
- I'm responding to a work issue. For my JOB. Which is a necessity to feed, clothe, shelter, and care for my child.
- I'm taking a picture of him, or a video, or we're Face Timing with one of his relatives.
- I'm talking to or texting my husband, which, nine times out of ten, is something Eli-related: reminding one another to pick up Eli's milk or bananas, or filling each other in on something funny Eli's done. I will show you my saved conversations if you don't believe me. It's all Eli all the time plus a few Arrested Development references and emojis (I LOVE emojis).
- I'm checking the library website to see what hours they're open, so I can - you guessed it - take Eli to the library.
- Or getting a weather update so we can plan our Sunday, whether we'll go to the park or play inside.
- Or showing him the Adorable Animals Instagram feed (he's obsessed).
I'm not sitting on the phone posting ridiculous shit to Facebook while my son does a faceplant off the back of the couch onto the floor. I'm not watching YouTubes while he's drinking Pine-Sol. I'm not swerving down the highway, tweeting, pinning, and Instagramming duckface selfies with him in the backseat wailing.
If your kid is safe, healthy, having fun, not on fire, not ingesting hazardous materials, not falling on swords, not rolling his naked body in broken glass, guess what?
He's probably OK.
You can probably check your phone.
The biggest danger is the dagger-eyes from Judgy Mom across the playground.
Post a Vine of her picking her nose when she thinks no one's looking, and move on.
16 comments
Bahahaha! Love it. I am SO glad I never stayed at home. Too much drama for this Mama. I also have a facebook policy that if I won't talk to you in real life - you aren't my fb friend. If you invite me to play too many stupid ass facebook games - you're not my facebook friend. I don't have time for that annoying crap! Sorry.
ReplyDeleteOooh, the Facebook game invites. There is a special place in hell for people who invite you to play Farmville more than once.
DeleteI'd bet you $100 and a three layer cake that that ridiculous bit of preachy nonsense was written by someone who doesn't have children. We childless like to think we know what's best for those of you with children. Our head is just that much clearer for not having offspring to fill it up.
ReplyDelete*insert massive eye roll*
I think (I didn't get too far into her blog but glanced at her profile) she has either three or four children.
DeleteI find childless people are waaaay less judgy than those with kids!
This is a great response. I hadn't seen what this is responding too but it reminds me of a post I wrote almost two years ago,
ReplyDeletehttp://modernmanofthecloth.com/2011/04/11/the-park/
Keep up the good work.
That's a great post! I can relate to the hassle of going to the park, especially in winter. It takes longer to bundle up than the time you actually spend outside.
DeleteI've seen a few responses to Dear Mom on the iPhone like this and they are all spot on. We are mother, but we are also wife, employee/employer, woman... We organize, plan, connect, and capture on our electronics.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what? Kids also need to know how to play on their own *sometimes*. They will be fine at the park if their Mom is checking her facebook feed while keeping an eye on her kid. That break might just be the energizer Mom needs to get back out there and crawl around in the sand with her child.
Agreed 100%! Kids are pretty good at letting you know when they want to do their own thing and when they want you to watch them. And if they want your attention, they make it pretty hard to ignore them!
Deletethis is fantastic- we need balance in life.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I hadn't seen this 'dear mom on your iphone' on facebook- I think your response is exactly where it should be :)
Balance is definitely important! Thank you!
DeleteAmen! The very essence of motherhood demands multitasking. If you aren't doing 10 things at once, I don't know how you're possibly getting it all done. Well said, my friend. Well said.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. There are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done without doubling up here and there!
DeleteNOT ON FIRE! LOL
ReplyDeleteI love your humour. I don't have kids..but I agree with you.
Thank you! I think some people get carried away thinking kids need to be observed, stimulated, engaged with, 24/7...problem is they'll never learn to entertain themselves. Having a toddler that knows how to keep himself busy for 20 minutes here and there is a sanity saver for me.
DeleteYeah, that letter is quite a bit overboard. People need to get over themselves. It's only when people start to walk into traffic when phone addiction gets scary. If used effectively, smartphones can be a great tool, I think. I'm not a momma, but just my two cents.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to share an interesting link with you - https://soundcloud.com/arts-crafts/rainy-saturday
It's the name of your blog! :)
Woo, my new theme song! Ha!
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