being present.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I have 12 days of maternity leave remaining before heading back to work full-time, and there are 17 days until Eli's first birthday. In between, we have a visit to my family's in New Brunswick, Eli's first Halloween, his first experience with his new sitter, and a whole host of appointments and things to take care of. Getting the house in order, stocking up the pantry, preparing for Eli's birthday party, and more. It's going to be a whirlwind couple of weeks, and everything's changing very quickly.

All I want to do is make a blanket fort, bring a few books inside, and stay in there with him for, ohhh...the next 16 years.

We've been trying to enjoy these last few days of mama-baby time. One of my favourite things every day is our afternoon walk. We bundle up and head out around the neighbourhood and point out everything we see - a particularly bright red tree, Halloween decorations on a house, a big dog. I love looking down at that little brown head in the stroller bobbing and gawking around and listening to him chatter on. We stop at the playground for a couple spins down the slide, some pushes in the swing, some crawling around on the jungle gym if it's empty, and I have been trying my hardest not to think too much about being away from him so soon, but rather to enjoy every minute.

Being present is a tricky thing. Why is it so much easier to worry and obsess about the future, about what's right around the corner and things that are weeks and months and years away, than to focus on what's going on right now? Lately I've had Christmas thoughts creeping into my head, and I've had to tell myself to relax. Let's get through Halloween and birthday first, then we can start thinking about Christmas.

Where has the past year gone?!

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  1. All to often we forget to stop and smell the roses. Chill, relax and take it day by day...

    I love your posts, Amy. You make me feel ready for a little bundle...

    1. Thanks so much! Sounds like you have a little bit of baby fever :)

  2. Well I pre-apologize if this sentiment doesn't match with your actual feelings on the subject, but I am sorry you have to go back to work. Not in the "too bad you're not going to be a SAHM" way, but in the "It's sad when you have to leave your baby and I'm sorry your time has come" way. Avery is 7 months old and I'm already fighting tears thinking about it, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Good luck being present in every moment with Eli. I agree, it can be hard to chill and just be "there".

    1. Thanks! It's hard, for sure. I miss work, I enjoy my job, and I like my coworkers - I can't imagine how the transition must be for someone who doesn't like their job. I'm excited to go back to work but I just wish there were an extra eight hours in every day so I could go to work and not miss out on any Eli time.