SO WHEN ARE YA HAVIN' KIDS?
Saturday, April 17, 2010About a year ago, when we were in full-on wedding planning mode, I signed up for a gaggle of online tools to help make the process easier. We ended up using the Martha Stewart wedding planning toolkit* and without Martha, I'm sure the wedding would have been a complete disaster. That being said, I was also receiving e-newsletters from sites such as weddingbells.com and theknot.com, which I mostly ignored from the point that Martha and I became tight.
So, today's our six-month wedding anniversary, and in true dork fashion we're spending Saturday morning on the sectional with our laptops like uber geeks. I log into Hotmail to see the following subject line on a message from theknot.com in my inbox:
I made some sort of angry charging-bull noise (wooooooooooooooooooosh...kinda like that) and deleted it without opening the message. Seeing it made me irrationally angry. Here's why: I know the Knot's database knows my wedding date was October 17. I doubt it's a coincidence that exactly six months later, they're bugging wanting to know if I'm knocked up yet. It's been bad enough getting it from friends and acquaintances but now the frigging Internet also wants to know when I'm going to get pregnant.
Here's an official update for everyone, including friends, family, neighbours, medical staff, random old ladies, and intarwebz:
1. I am not pregnant.
2. I am not trying to conceive.
3. I do not have a timeline in place for giving birth.
4. I am not concerned about it.
5. When/If the situation changes--YOU'LL BE INFORMED.
The other day, I dropped my laptop down the stairs. I watched it fall in slow motion, hitting every step, bouncing a little, gaining momentum, and landing with a resounding 'thunk' at the bottom. And then I laughed.
Until I can learn to carry stationary objects without tossing them down a flight of stairs AND LAUGHING ABOUT IT, I'm going to hold off on the baby-making. I don't feel anywhere near ready to have a baby.
I'm selfish, busy, immature, and clumsy. I have a low pain threshold, seeing other people's bodily fluids makes me dry heave, needles make me faint, and I need at least seven hours of sleep at night to function. I enjoy things like drinking alcohol and coffee in large quantities. I have to work on some of those areas before I'm ready to be a mom, and I'm in no rush. I wish others could understand that, both real people and theknot.com. There's no timeframe, no schedule for bringing life into the world. It's not a priority for everybody to have a baby rightthissecond. We're really happy being a family of two for now, so please don't worry about our reproductive status.
*if you're getting married I can't recommend Martha's site enough. There's a budget tool, a seating chart, a checklist...everything you need. It's like having a free wedding planner online that's accessible 24/7!
9 comments
I LOVE this post!! I keep getting emails from The Nest since I signed up for the Knot, and JUST because I'm getting married this year does not mean I will start wanting to have babies right away!! I'm not even thinking about it - my priorities are getting healthy, getting financially stable, enjoying married life for a bit, going to bed and sleeping in on weekends, and being able to do things like travel around a whole bunch without dragging screaming children on a plane resulting in the 50 surrounding passengers cursing my name. Hmph!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it's not just me! I understand they're trying to be proactive with their following, but come on...don't assume everybody's planning on a baby right away! When/If I DO decide on a baby I'll definitely come looking for information because at that point, I'll need all the help I can get. Until then, no thaaaanks.
ReplyDeleteYour post gave me a big laugh. I had three kids REALLY close together, that's another (less simple) way to stop 'em asking... lol. Enjoy the sleep ins ... for now. ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm selfish, busy, immature, and clumsy. I have a low pain threshold, seeing other people's bodily fluids makes me dry heave, needles make me faint, and I need at least seven hours of sleep at night to function. I enjoy things like drinking alcohol and coffee in large quantities. I have to work on some of those areas before I'm ready to be a mom, and I'm in no rush. I wish others could understand that, both real people and theknot.com. There's no timeframe, no schedule for bringing life into the world. It's not a priority for everybody to have a baby rightthissecond. We're really happy being a family of two for now, so please don't worry about our reproductive status.
ReplyDeleteone day i am definitely going to be quoting this word for word. i may have to bookmark this blog for later use.
Good to know about Martha. Also, good to know I should be prepared for the baby emails. Geeze.
ReplyDeleteValerie--I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!
ReplyDeleteKelly--oh yeah--you'll get baby emails. Martha saved my life during wedding planning more than once. Plus, at the end of the process, if you review three of your vendors for the site you get a free gift!
i LOVE that this is your state of mind. i think this should be normal. everyone else is nutso.
ReplyDeletea friend of mine is getting married in june. she's 24- he's 27. he's trying to convince her to go off the pill now so "they" can get pregnant right after the wedding. aside from not being ready financially, she's all for this idea.
she was venting her frustrations to me about the financial aspect, and it was nearly impossible to choke back the "WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU THINKING."
yeesh. people. im very happy there are some sane ones (you and me, duh) left. now, please pass the wine.
3 years after getting married and i still am getting those questions. You would think people would learn.
ReplyDeleteIm only 24 for goodness sake! Just cause i have a ring doesn't mean i should get knocked up!