I'm In A Glass Case Of Emotion!

Friday, October 09, 2009

Over the past month or so, my peaceful snoozes have been interrupted by horrendous nightmares several times, which is unusual for me since I don't usually have dreams and especially not ones that I remember afterward. The common denominator of these nightmares is...dun dun dunnnnn...our wedding. Not monsters or demons or being chased or being naked in front of a crowd. Nope--it's a wedding ceremony!

Nightmare #1
We're setting up the resort for the ceremony and my task is to put programs on the chairs where guests will be sitting. Every time I turn around, all of the programs have fallen on the floor and I have to go back and do them over again. Meanwhile, there's a massive clock on the wall going TICK! TICK! TICK! and the ceremony is about to start, guests are arriving, the floor is covered with programs and I'm sobbing.

Nightmare #2
The wedding is starting in 15 minutes and I haven't had a shower. I'm wearing Umbro shorts and a tank top and have no makeup on.

Nightmare #3
The most recent iteration, from two nights ago. I arrive at the wedding venue wearing a brown cape over my dress. I can't get the cape off. It's attached. I rip it off. My hair and makeup look like dogshit, but at least the cape is gone. I get to the back of the church and look down the aisle and H2B is wearing this garish white and black patterned tux, which is a surprise, but whatever. Dad and I start down the aisle and there is no one on my side of the church. Not one guest. Not one attendant. I sit down in the middle of the empty chairs and start sobbing. I wake up actually crying.

We have eight days to go and I hope that these dreams are not signs of the imminent nervous breakdown I'm about to experience. This weekend I have a couple of last-minute things to do...printing table numbers, filling favour bags, and building centrepieces...but once those things are done, I want to spend the weekend relaxing and not doing weddingy things. I want to pick apples, watch movies, go shopping, bake and take pictures outside. I want to hang out where I grew up and just relax and reflect on my last weekend as a single gal. Wow.

I'm feeling happy and sad all at once. Nervous and excited and optimistic and paranoid about programs falling on the floor and hideous tuxes. I feel more 'adult' than ever but at the same time I want to go home and have my parents look after me this weekend. Or Xanax. And/or alcohol.

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  1. Everything is going to be fine! And you're wedding is going to be great. Just work on your to do list and then go enjoy time with friends and family.

  2. I had those dreams. So did my cousin and my sister-in-law. Especially the ones when it's almost time for the wedding to start and you've realized you forgot some major element, like you forgot to make a hair appointment or the alterations aren't finished on your dress. I hate to give your subconscious more ideas with which to torture you in your sleep ;) The point is, it'll all come together perfectly. It always does. And it will be the best day of your life.

  3. Hey Amy, it's Gillian. My wedding isn't until February and yet I've been having wedding-related nightmares for weeks. Last night's nightmare: it was 20 mins before ceremony time and I hadn't booked a photographer or officiant, and we hadn't sent out any invitations. Eeek!

    I'll be thinking of you next weekend -- so excited for you!

  4. It's just anxiety. You've planned everything so now is time to just enjoy it. If the programs fall on the floor, leave them there! haha... No big deal. That won't ruin your marriage. ;-) Just remember it's all about the 2 of you. Don't worry what the guests think. Enjoy your very special day!! Go pick some apples!!