Words We Don't Say

Wednesday, December 16, 2015



When Eli got old enough to repeat everything we said, we stopped swearing within earshot (for the most part). There was a little road-rage incident when Peter was driving and Eli ended up chirping "Fuck!" through the Starbucks drive-thru, but he seemed to forget about that particular word pretty quickly. Fairly recently, I hissed "Jesus Christ!" under my breath (or so I thought) and Eli immediately piped up, "Why did you just say Jesus Christ?" So, needless to say we're pretty careful.

In addition to the obvious F-bombs and similar curse words, there are a few other things we try to avoid saying at home.

Stupid: There's a line in The Lorax that goes, "You poor stupid guy" and when I'm reading it to Eli I always change "stupid" to "silly". The word stupid just seems really harsh and hurtful. Calling someone stupid is mean. Even if they are stupid.

Shut up: Again, this one's just rude. Especially coming from little kids, you know? I'm guilty of telling the dog to shut up when he's barking like a moron at nothing at all, but we never tell one another to shut up. How do you feel when someone tells you to shut up? What a hideous phrase.

Fat: Partly because, sometimes, Eli makes out-loud observations about people's appearances. It's only happened a handful of times. Once we were shopping and we saw a lady with very bold, bright magenta-coloured hair, and Eli said, pretty loudly, "She has really red hair!" Nothing negative, just an observation. Another time we had a waiter with a sleeve tattoo and Eli TOUCHED IT (cringe) but he was just more curious than anything, and the guy didn't seem bothered. Long story long - I wouldn't want Eli to announce that someone, anyone, regardless of size, is "fat", especially within earshot. That's part of it. I also don't really want him to be hung up on peoples' sizes or appearances - fat, skinny, short, tall - it's not super important. And I know first hand that kids can be pretty cruel and brutally honest with their observations. So, we just try to keep it positive and not make a big deal about anyone's appearance, but "fat" is definitely a word we avoid.

Hate: There are so many other ways to express when you don't like something. "I don't like that." "That's not my favourite." "I'd rather have ___." "That makes me angry/sad/scared." Hate is a pretty powerful - and negative - word and one we try not to use around Eli.

Fart: Mostly because I want to avoid the embarrassment of "I farted!" in public. We'll say toot instead of fart. I know. It means the same thing. Everyone knows that toots are farts. But farts just sounds a hell of a lot grosser.

What do you guys think? Are there words you avoid using around your kids, or were certain words of phrases taboo when you were growing up?

You Might Also Like

2 comments

  1. Totally agree -- we don't like these words either. A neighbourhood kid recently taught our kids the "F" word (ugh, fart) and I was like "Oh noooooo, we don't say that." Toot is tolerable, but I'm really pushing the just-say-excuse-me angle.

    (Growing up, we could swear as teenagers but could never, ever say "I hate you," "Shut up," or "You're stupid.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like your outlook on things! I think that you're getting your kid off to a great start! Most adults shouldn't say most of this stuff. I especially appreciate your take on appearances. You're encouraging Eli to look for the good in everyone. :)

    One time, my brother was picking on me quite mercilessly and being quite mean, and I told him I hated him as I walked away. My mom was walking into the room at the same time, and thought I was saying it to her... I'll never forget the look on her face. :(

    I am very guilty of overusing that word, actually. Just like "I hate when people don't know the difference between their/they're/there, haha. I should say "I find that discouraging!" I'd like to strip it from my own vernacular.

    Nice post! :)

    ReplyDelete