30 weeks - 31 in one day!

Here's our (very blurry) 30-week picture - 30 weeks and six days, to be exact. We had our monthly checkup yesterday morning - the last of our monthly checkups. They're now switching to every two weeks. So far, all is well in babyland. The baby weighs about three pounds and its head is facing down, its bum is on the right, and footies are on the left. I had thought the bum-bump was its head, so I feel a little bit better now because I've been feeling bad about sleeping on my right side, worrying that I've been putting the poor little thing on its head for hours, soo this comes as a relief.

Physically I feel great and I have no complaints at all. Emotionally I'm a bit of a wreck. We have two months to go. TWO MONTHS. Cycle 17 of America's Next Top Model will still be on and we'll have a baby. I have purchased dairy products with expiry dates that are after my due date. I could be drinking the same coffee creamer I had for breakfast today when I'm a mother, and I won't even get food poisoning. This is not OK. I've never been so excited yet scared for anything, ever.

Staying asleep is starting to become a bit of a thing, in that it never happens for more than a couple hours. Last week Peter brought me a body pillow to help me sleep more comfortably, and it's been a huge help, except it creates this kind of puffy brick wall barrier between us in the bed. Rolling over is a bit of a production where I wake up, decide I want to actually roll over, heft the pillow over myself and then grunt and heave myself over to the other side. Sexy. When I sleep it's this weird straddling/cuddling of the pillow. I can't even see my husband on the other side. I'm going to name the pillow Peter 2. Or Al the Alligator. One of the books I've been reading, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, likens rolling over late in pregnancy with a body pillow as wrestling an alligator. She's right! I've never wrestled an alligator but I can only assume this is exactly the same.

Here are some other random tidbits from the past week:

Very scientific and to-scale drawing to show you how the baby is positioned.

-A (presumably) homeless man congratulated me yesterday, which I thought was pretty sweet. At least it was nice in comparison to the douche-lord at Starbucks two minutes earlier, who, the split second I closed my laptop, raced over to my table and asked "Are you leaving?" and then hovered while I packed away my computer and power cord, notebook, phone and water bottle. Seriously, guy. Fuck off somewhere with your frappuccino while I get my act together and waddle out of here.

-The Eddie Bauer Soothing Comfort Playard was designed to make new parents cry, sit on the floor and question their ability to raise a child when they can't even fold up a playpen successfully. "How was ALL THIS in THAT box??" I wailed. More than once. Soothing comfort? Maybe for baby. Not for us.

-I was practicing putting a stuffed bear into our carseat and if it were a real baby I'd have dislocated his/her arms and potentially crushed his penis (if baby is, in fact, of the penised variety).

-Out for a walk with Pete and the dog last night a car full of hooligans drove by and some 16-year-old screamed out the window at us, "You know that's my kid, right?" Stay classy, Sackville!