We're having a little dilemma here. Eli knows the names of all the parts of his body. All of them except one. Any guesses as to which one?

We can't agree on what to call...it. I have been vaguely saying "that's your privates". I feel like I just want to say penis, because after all, that's what it's called, right? But does it seem weird to have a tiny kid talking about his penis?

Peter refers to it as his bird. Not HIS bird...Eli's bird...you know what I'm saying.

We can't reach a consensus. I say, let's just call a spade a spade and a penis a penis. That's its proper name, end of story. Peter thinks a toddler using the word "penis" is "creepy".

Anyway, tonight, I was giving Eli his bath, and he starts talking about a bird. "Oh, did you hear a bird chirp?" I asked and then I looked and saw what he was showing me, and uhhh, it wasn't a chickadee. It just reinforced the point that we need to figure out what we're calling this item, ASAP.

So please help us, parents of little boys, people who were once little boys, anyone at all, Internet at large, this is me reaching out for help.

How do you refer to a toddler's junk? Proper names? Slang? Did you invent a name so when he starts yelling about it in church no one will know that William Robinson is actually a wiener? Discuss.

some images for inspiration

I'm a creature of habit, as uncool as that sounds. And there is no time of day when I appreciate a routine more than first thing in the morning. I will never be the person who wakes up one day and decides to mess with the schedule and, like, all impulsively decide to curl my hair and go out for croissants. Not this bear. It's down to a science and I don't like to eff with the flow - especially not before 10:00AM.


Aside from the necessities (brushing of teeth, donning of clothing) there are a few daily musts I need to get the day off to a good start:

[+] breakfast. A no-brainer, but so many people skip this step, and frankly, I don't understand those people. I actually get excited to go downstairs and eat breakfast, and if I have to delay it for whatever reason, I feel like throwing up. I'm OK with eating the same breakfasts for two straight weeks. Give me a toasted English muffin with peanut butter and banana, a bowl of oats with berries and walnuts, or a poached egg on toast.

[+] coffee. This is not optional! I like to bring my travel mug of coffee in the car with me in the mornings. I swear it makes the commute easier.

[+] angry driving music. Everything has its place, including Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson, but my car at 7:30 is not the time for those mellow fellows. In the morning I want loud, fast and offensive. You can't navigate Magazine Hill singing along to Banana Pancakes - it just doesn't work.

[+] BB cream. One product that serves three purposes can't be beat. I like being able to slap one thing on my face and get moisturizer, sunscreen, and coverage.

[+] advance prep work. Every evening after dinner I pack my lunch for the next day and pop it in the fridge, pack my gym bag, and set the coffee maker. In the morning, I can just kind of roll around in a fog and know that I have a bag of food, a piping-hot beverage, and all my gym gear ready to go. It's so much easier to do this at night. The less I have to do in the morning, the better for me.

[+] hugs and kisses. I can't leave for work without big hugs and kisses from both boys. It's the best way to get the day off to a good start and I look forward to seeing them again all day long.

What do you need in the morning to kick-start your day?

I haven't felt like blogging lately. Nothing's wrong, and it's not a lack of having stuff to say, but posting has just been really hard. Finding the time to put a coherent post together is impossible and on my list of 100 things I should be doing, blogging falls somewhere around #29,234. Every time I start a draft, I read it over about two-thirds of the way there, and think, "but WHO CARES?" and it stays in draft-land, forever and ever.



I could write about starting my new job last Monday. It's going well so far. It's a LOT to learn, from in-depth stuff like the way the company operates and the science behind the products, to the things that are common to starting any new job, like learning how to operate the coffee maker and remembering everyone's name. I like it. I can't remember the last time I had so much new information to process, but it's all genuinely interesting and inspiring.

I could write about running the Blue Nose 10K yesterday - my first 10K race ever. I finished in 52:42 and am happy with that time. The weather was perfect: sunny but cool. The race was well-organized, the volunteers were awesome and the course wasn't anywhere near as hilly and scary as I'd been told.

I could write about today, which is a holiday and a complete and total write off. I went to the gym this morning and folded some laundry and those were the only non-lazy things I've done all day. It's cold and rainy outside, and while sitting on the couch semi-watching a baseball game I don't care about and looking at the Internet feels like a sinful waste of a holiday Monday, it's not like there's anything else I need or even particularly want to be doing. I rarely have an unabashedly lazy day, mostly because I don't enjoy being lazy.

I could write about The Great Gatsby, which I'm reading and loving. About the doughnuts I made yesterday (Cinnamon. Delightful.) How much I can't wait for summer: the beach, ice cream, tennis, fresh strawberries, bonfires.

I could...but I don't want to.

Back to the ball game.