This was the first year that I didn't go to sleep on Christmas Eve in my old bedroom at my parents' house. I wasn't awoken barbarically early on Christmas morning by an eager little brother or an overstimulated dog to open gifts. This was my first Christmas morning away from my family--just me and my husband in our apartment.

I was scared I'd hate it and be totally emo and nostalgic on Christmas this year. I actually loved it.

I think my favourite bit of Christmas this year was going skating on December 24. My sister and I used to go skating every Christmas eve afternoon at our local rink and then grab a hot chocolate, and this would be the first year with no Christmas eve skate. I was seriously boo-hooing.

On Thursday morning I moped around the house with a long face and whined about not going skating this year to the point that Peter--who, for the record, has never tied his own skates, THAT'S how long it's been since he went skating--braved SportChek on December 24 to buy skates and spend over an hour with me that afternoon circling the rink. That's love.

I know Peter has about as much interest in going skating as I do in seeing Avatar but the fact that he did it and at least pretended to like it was awesome. I, on the other hand, will continue to avoid seeing Avatar. I know it's supposed to be amazing but IT'S ABOUT BLUE ALIENS AND IT'S WELL OVER TWO HOURS LONG.

We went for hot chocolates afterward and I got called a bitch in the drive-thru and Peter was going to singlehandedly beat up a car full of riff raff...that's also love. We settled for squealing the tires and giving them the finger instead. Ahhhh, the Christmas spirit.

When we did make it to my parents' on Christmas night, it did feel different. We'd missed all the excitement. We arrived in time for the post-Christmas crankiness and turkey coma. I felt more like a visitor and less like I was supposed to be there. We had our family turkey dinner on Boxing Day, and it was delicious as usual, but there was definitely a feeling that something had changed. Not in a bad way, just different. Adult. For the first time it felt like Peter and I were officially our own distinct little family. It was eye opening, and much to my surprise, rather than feeling emo and nostalgic, I'm happy about it.

In 2000, I turned legal--19 baby! I went into the liquor store on my 19th birthday all psyched to whip out my newly useful ID...and the clerk barely even glanced at me. It was the first of a series of terrible disappointments, a foreshadowing of the 365 days of suck to follow. 2000 was a miserable year. Horrendous. There was more drama than you can shake a stick at, relationship-wise, school-wise, money-wise. Things were tense with my parents and I got in huge trouble for not going to class. I was partying way too much and making stupid decisions on a daily basis. Things shifted around over the summer, when I got a summer job with the Moncton Times & Transcript, made new, decent, non-drug-dealer friends and earned enough money to get me through the following year of school comfortably. But the first six months of 2000 were just abysmal. I also watched a lot of Much Music. I don't know if that's directly related to the craptacular nature of the year. Probably.



In 2001 I graduated J-school and took a maternity leave position with the New Brunswick Telegraph-Journal. This involved moving to Saint John, NB, which is arguably the worst city on the planet. I challenge you to find a shittier place to live. I cried every day and I had literally one friend in the city who was also my cousin, so she was obligated to like me :) I dyed my hair blonde and was using self-tanner every day. I'm sure I was an amazing shade of jaundice-slash-Oompa Loompa. A big outing for me was going to the mall and buying a new Tommy shirt. Again, 2001 ranked pretty high on the poopmeter. I did get a trip to Disney, which was a highlight.



2002 was the year I moved back home and started working at the Sackville Tribune-Post--I was pretty sure I still wanted to work in journalism and hadn't become jaded yet. I joined a gym, but I also started sitting on my ass for 8+ hours a day and finally my fast food habit began to catch up with me. I was very antisocial (notice a theme?) probably because of the uber-controlling relationship I was in. I went to Boston in '02 and loved it. Still rocking the self-tanner and horrible highlights. I also wore a lot of red and in general my goal was to be mistaken for a 16-year-old as often as possible.



In 2003, my life consisted of work, gym, and being boring. I went to the beach a lot and tried to reconnect with friends. My parents got a dog, Sophie, which was a highlight. My grandfather died, by far the low point of the year. I was still in the worst relationship ever but one bright spot is the tool moved back home so we were at least long-distance and I didn't have to see him every day. Looking back on this period, I really want to shake or slap myself. I truly wasted some potentially great years doing absolutely nothing.



Ahh, 2004. I got my first taste of unemployment. The small weekly paper I worked for was taken over by a big conglomerate (LOVE that word!) and thanks to "restructuring" I was one of the unlucky staff to get the boot. I flipped out...unemployment and me do not mix well. Within a week I had a freelancing gig and over the remainder of the year secured a few freelancing contracts with different papers. I also started doing proofreading on the side at advertising agencies in Moncton which definitely piqued my interest in the ad world. I was really busy with grabbing up any freelance work I could, which was still not enough to live on. Thankfully I was living at home at the time. I looked for full-time jobs and had no luck for the longest time. I was beginning to think I was completely screwed.




In 2005 I took a job with the Canadian Cancer Society as their communications manager, which meant a move to Charlottetown and a move back in with the douchey boyfriend and his family. Since it was a term position I didn't want to get stuck in an apartment lease so I ended up staying with the most dysfunctional family I have ever spent time with including five cats. I will never, ever, until the day I die, have a cat in my home. They used to throw up and poop in my bed and on my pillows. It was like they knew I didn't like them and they reacted by shitting on my things. I went to the beach every day after work and realized I actively hated my boyfriend. I put up with him until my work term was finished because being homeless did not sound like the most appealing option. I think I actually sang, "FREE AT LAAAAST!" when I packed the car to come home for Christmas. We hadn't broken up yet but as I backed out of the driveway I knew I would not be back.



In 2006 I finally snapped out of my stupor, dumped the asshole, moved to Halifax and took a full time position at an ad agency. Finally I was having fun. I made friends, I loved my work, I went out a lot, I loved being completely independent. I lived in a house with three other girls and one dude and then moved into an apartment with one of the girls from the house. I went out...a lot. I drank...a lot. I ate...a lot. I gained weight. I didn't care. I had a blast in 2006.





In 2007 I was set up on a blind group date with the man who would become my husband. I was still loving my job, but early in the year I decided I needed to get in better shape. I started going for long walks, then adding little spurts of running into the mix, and eating better and drinking less. I felt better than I had in ages! I spent lots of time with Peter and we became closer and closer and by the end of the year I was all but moved in with him in downtown Halifax. 2007 was another serious turnaround year and things improved huge time.







2008 highlights included switching jobs AGAIN, getting engaged, smashing up my car, getting a new car, going to the Dominican Republic, STARTING MY BLOG, picking out an apartment with Peter and getting all moved in, going to the beach a bunch of times and being a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. 2008 was exhausting but awesome. There was never a dull moment and lots of great times. I felt happy and loved.






On to 2009, which I've said before has been stressful and tiring and has nearly resulted in 29857248 nervous breakdowns. It's my wedding year. That was awesome. We went to New York and Paris and to the beach lots of times. We started doing our weekly Wednesday dinner dates and settling into married life, which is not remotely different than unmarried life when you're into the whole living in sin thing. Work has been ridiculous, but at the end of the day, I love what I'm doing. I also have a small but close bunch of friends who are wonderful.

This is the final installment of the Best of 2009 challenge found on Gwen Bell's blog.

December 21 Project. What did you start this year that you're proud of?

I did start a system for organizing my clothes that I'm pretty happy about. I know, right? WHEN DID BEING ABLE TO FIND YOUR SHIT BECOME AN ACCOMPLISHMENT? Well, my friends, it has. A place for everything, and everything in its place. Now to learn to apply this same level of organization to the rest of my life...

December 22 Startup. What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?

I already mentioned Two if By Sea Cafe in my "favourite place" part of this challenge but it's worthy of another mention. The croissants are just amazing and if you live in HRM, or if you're just visiting, you must check them out.

December 23 Web tool. It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn't live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.

Teux Deux has changed my LIFE! I'm an OCD list maker by nature and this site makes it so much easier to list to my little heart's content. It's wonderful.

December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

He who gossips with you will gossip of you.

December 25 Gift. What's a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

This sounds a bit ridiculous but Sally Hansen Insta-Dri nail polishes with the super wide and easy to use brush have saved me a fortune in manicures. They cost about $5-$6 per bottle and a bottle will last for approximately seven thousand years. Manis and pedis are my treat to myself on weekends...especially when they dry in a flash and are easy to use and don't make me look like a drunken chimp painted my nails.

December 26 Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

It's only a bargain if you like it enough to buy it at regular price too. Otherwise it's cheap clothes you're buying just for the fact that they're cheap!

December 27 Social web moment. Did you meet someone you used to only know from her blog? Did you discover Twitter?

I discovered Twitter last year but I became a bit of a fiend this year. I met a few bloggy types, attended a networking event or two. I started a Flickr pool. I joined 20sb.

December 28 Stationery. When you touch the paper, your heart melts. The ink flows from the pen. What was your stationery find of the year?

Box o' Cards = $15ish for 40 blank, multicoloured cards at Chapters. Perfect for quick thank-you notes or birthday greetings minus the cheese factor.

December 29 Laugh. What was your biggest belly laugh of the year?

I have a biggest belly laugh of the year every day.

December 30 Ad. What advertisement made you think this year?

Well...technically, the ads I worked on made me think (and cry, and panic, and lose sleep) the most this year. In the spring I worked on a domestic violence action plan and we had to research a lot of domestic violence ads from around the world--some of those were shockingly hard-hitting and effective. I also still love the Telus animals. Put a baby animal in it and I'm on it like white on rice.

December 31 Resolution you wish you'd stuck with.

Getting my finances more in order, for sure. I don't feel like I'm in a much better place than I was a year ago. I have a bit more money in the bank but it's still sitting in one bulk account. I'm one year closer to retirement age-wise but money-wise, I haven't budged. This year, promise!

December 15 Best packaging. Did your headphones come in a sweet case? See a bottle of tea in another country that stood off the shelves?

I'm a sucker for packaging that is both functional and attractive. Everyone who owns a MacBook, an iPod or an iPhone knows how slick Apple's packaging is. No excess cardboard and paper and filler--I love the way their products are delivered.

My wedding shoes came from Aldo and I was really impressed how instead of putting the shoebox inside a plastic bag, the box has a pull-out handle on one end. It's a box and bag in one! My geeky side claps and jumps up and down.

December 16 Tea of the year. I can taste my favorite tea right now. What's yours?

I'm much more of a coffee girl. I drink green tea or chai tea at work when I'm hungry and trying to avoid snacking, so I mostly associate 'tea' with 'not eating' and therefore it's not my favourite...it's more like punishment. I like peppermint tea when I'm hungover and sweet orange tea from Starbucks.

December 17 Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. "2009 was _____."

Ridiculous

December 18 Shop. Online or offline, where did you spend most of your mad money this year?

It's got to be Michael's because we were in there every bloody day for months buying crap for the wedding with 40% off coupons. We definitely impacted Michael's sales numbers for this year.

December 19 Car ride. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?

It's got to be driving to the church for our wedding. I remember thinking about how I was going to be standing in front of alllll those people in 12...11...10 minutes. I wanted that car ride to last forever. I looked out the window at all the houses and landmarks I'd seen hundreds of times before and tried to wrap my head around what was going to happen. Runner-up would be the ride me and my bridesmaids took just a couple hours earlier en route to getting ready, which involved a pit stop at Tim Horton's for bagels and the stealing of a Sears Super Saturday & Sunday sign at a busy intersection.

December 20 New person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

Yikes...how do you pick just one person? There have been tons of great people I have met this year, randomly, through work, and through other friends. One person in particular is Joel, who I drive to work mostly every day and who has listened to countless rants and raves day in and day out. It's lovely to have someone to vent to and make fun of passerby and other drivers on an otherwise mediocre commute!

I'm picky about Christmas music. In general, I like Christmas tunes. I have my favourites: Kenny and Dolly, Hanson's Snowed In, Boney M, and Run-DMC's Christmas in Hollis to name a few. I enjoy the American Idol Christmas CD and Mariah Carey's holiday album. They're all fun and festive.

My take on Christmas music is similar to the little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead, like the nursery rhyme: when it's good, it's very very good. When it's bad it's horrid.

Christmas music that does not jingle my bells:

1. The Little Drummer Boy

Besides the incessant drumming throughout the song, the lyrics are stupid too. A newborn baby isn't going to smile at a kid beating on a drum. He's going to cry. Also, "the ox and lamb kept time?" O RLY? How did these musical animals pull that off? Stomping their hooves? Swishing their tails? Moo-ing and baa-ing?

2. Do They Know It's Christmas?

Answer: No, they don't. They don't know it's Christmas time at all, because they live in Ethiopia, and they don't celebrate Christmas. It's like someone asking me, "Do you know it's Yom Kippur at all?" Chances are I don't.

3. Blue Christmas

Elvis stammering the words to Blue Christmas makes me feel like getting hammered, not celebrating. Then there's the Porky Pig version. I have a low tolerance threshold for a stuttering pig.

4. Eight Days of Christmas

Beyonce and Destiny's other children list off the things their baby bestowed upon them at Christmas time. Among the Christmas haul: a cropped jacket with dirty denim jeans, a diamond belly ring, a foot massage and back rub, a gift certificate to buy CDs, and quality T-I-M-E. And a Benz. There's so much wrong with this I'm not sure where to begin.

5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Masquerading as a jolly holiday jingle is a traumatizing childhood nightmare: an innocent tot catches his skanky mom in the throes of an affair. If I saw my mother in the living room making out with an elderly bearded man it would not be a happy Christmas in our house. Imagine how confused that kid must be. Is he mad at his mother for being unfaithful? Excited because now that Mommy has a close relationship with Santa the presents will be flowing fast and furious? Does he tell Daddy? What happens next? Bad scene.

What are some of the Christmas songs that make you wish you could fast-forward through the holidays?

This is a continuation of the Best of 2009 blog challenge found on Gwen Bell's blog.

December 8 Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

I didn't get too many peaceful moments this year. A week of solitude? What's that? We did spend a weekend camping at the beach in New Brunswick in August and that was nice...sunshine and swimming, books, lime-flavoured beer, minimal BlackBerry reception. I also enjoyed two manicures this year, and both times I came thisclose to falling asleep during the hand massage. If I ever do go for an actual massage I'll definitely melt into a puddle.

December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

Planning a wedding, without going into debt, while working full time and then some, and not telling anyone off. It was worth it in the end, when the wedding was over and we'd survived and people told us what a nice time they'd had.

December 10 Album of the year. What's rocking your world?

I bought one album this year and it's the Glee soundtrack. It makes me happy. Other albums I'm listening to for free (thanks Internet): Lady Gaga, Kings of Leon, and the New Moon soundtrack.

December 11 The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

Our cosy apartment. Lawrencetown Beach, where we spent many Sunday afternoons and evenings after work this summer. Two if By Sea Cafe, the best place for a croissant and latte in HRM (our new Saturday morning ritual.)

December 12 New food. You're now in love with Lebanese food and you didn't even know what it was in January of this year.

Escargots, croissants (see December 11), Mexican rice, curries of all types, avocados. I also rediscovered poached eggs! And crepes! I ate a lot this year. It's kind of gross...

December 13 What's the best change you made to the place you live?

Thanks to our wedding gifts, we have lots of awesome additions to our little love nest: a coffee maker, an awesome living room lamp, a panini maker that has changed my life, a cashmere throw that I'm wrapped up in right now, a bread machine, and so much more. Our formerly dingy digs are now Martha Stewart-approved.

December 14 Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?

Definitely the dine-and-dash on Champs-Elysees in Paris(at a NICE restaurant...at least a 60+ euro meal). I don't think I've ever run that fast in my life while laughing hysterically. Committing a crime in a foreign country is quite the rush. So is returning to the neighbourhood the next day to walk past the restaurant and tee-hee about getting away with the dine-and-dash. It's true...criminals DO return to the scene of their crime. In fairness to us we waited at least half an hour for our bill after asking for it, and it never came! We earned that dash fair and square.

I'm fascinated with the English language, specifically the huge differences in the way people speak depending on where they live. I think it's neat how you can drive just a few hours and hear terms or phrases you'd never hear at home, and how the more you travel, into different parts of the country or the continent, you'll hear so many variations of the same words, yet we're all speaking the same language.

Last weekend I was out with some friends and I used the term "fetch up". We were discussing how a particular local chain of grocery stores added a mechanism to their shopping carts that makes them impossible to steal. When you get to a certain point in the parking lot the wheels seize up and you can't move the cart off the property.

Anyway, I was talking about how once I took a running start while pushing a cart and pretty much threw myself over the cart to get a laugh out of people watching. "...so then the cart fetched up and I almost went ass over teakettle...wait, what?" The people I was with had never heard the phrase "fetch up" before and spent the next 20 minutes telling me I'm a New Brunswick hillbilly. Well, tell me something I DON'T KNOW!

I found this dialect quiz floating around teh intarwebz and thought I'd fill it out. Let me know if you, too, think I'm a New Brunswick hillbilly based on my responses.

WHAT DO YOU CALL:

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.
brook

2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called.
cart

3. A metal container to carry a meal in.
lunch can. but if it were a plastic container, I'd call it a lunch BOX.

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.
frying pan

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.
couch

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.
eavestrough

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.
porch

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.
pop

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.
pancake

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.
sub

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.
trunks

12. Shoes worn for sports.
sneakers

13. Putting a room in order.
tidying up

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.
firefly

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.
that sounds disgusting and I'm sure there are plenty of insects that do this...NEXT QUESTION PLZ

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.
teeter-totter

17. How do you eat your pizza?
rip off little pieces and pick off the toppings and eat them first. But I molest every meal before I aet it.

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
yard sale

19. What's the evening meal?
supper

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
basement

21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
water fountain

I've noticed this year-in-review meme from Gwen Bell floating around the BLOGOSPHERE (my #2 most-hated word, right after WEBINAR), this week, so I decided to take a crack at it. We're now halfway through December so I'm going to break it up and do the first week today.

December 1 Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?
This is a tough one because we had two amazing trips this year. The first was to New York City for Valentine's Day weekend. Peter and I both loooove NYC. It was the first visit for both of us and we can't wait to go back.



The second was to Paris in October for our honeymoon. Paris was everything a honeymoon destination should be: romantic, pretty and boozy.



December 2 Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

When we were in Paris we tried escargots. I'm not sure if it was the way they were prepared or if they're really just that good but they were a nice surprise. I was expecting them to be revolting--they were delicious. Always nice when that happens.

On my birthday, I had a surprise party at Onyx here in Halifax too, which was awesome not because of the food but because of the great company.

December 3 Article. What's an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious'd and reference throughout the year.

Maybe it's because it's so fresh in my mind but the Tiger Woods story blows me away. Whether it's the actual story or people's reaction (and the sheer amount of media devoted to covering it) that amazes me, I'm not sure. People have affairs every day. Gotta say though, the transcribed texts from Tiger are pretty noteworthy. "I will wreck you?" Good God. Tiger needs to get better at covering his tracks (and saying less lame shit.)

December 4 Book. What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

I read Testimony by Anita Shreve--it's the story of a sex tape scandal at a private school in New England. It was pretty fascinating to read how a stupid mistake changed so many lives so drastically. I read it over the fall and it was a nice distraction from the wedding planning. Lesson learned: do not make a sex tape. Just don't do it. Need more proof on why making a sex tape is a bad idea? Two words: Tiger Woods.

December 5 Night out. Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?

I went out last winter with a bunch of people from work to a crappy local bar, had my ass grabbed (not tapped--GRABBED--FULL ON PALM TO ASS CHEEK) by a stranger and I had the privilege of throwing my drink in the guy's face while yelling and swearing at him. It was satisfying. Then we went through the McDonald's drive thru on the way home--extra satisfying. I was probably sick the next day. Nevertheless, it felt pretty awesome to dump a drink complete with ice cubes directly in some loser's face.

December 6 Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

We did an ideation workshop at work that was pretty helpful for our agency. Essentially we learned brainstorming and idea generation techniques. Now, I brainstorm every move I make. Maybe that's a little excessive...but it was cool to see how you can get ideas flowing like whoa.

December 7 Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can't believe you didn't know about until this year.

Oh crap. So many. I don't know if I can pick just one! Fabulously Broke taught me how to budget and care about my finances. ...love Maegan, What I Wore, and Le Quaintrelle provide wardrobe inspiration. Newly B, Things To Do For Two, and Five Blondes are other daily reads. And I'm finding more great reads all the time! I'm happy to say my Google reader and blogroll have grown over the past year pretty steadily.

Three weeks from today is New Year's Eve, which is traditionally my least favourite day of the year. I hate New Year's Eve for a number of reasons. It's a day to reflect on all the goals and resolutions I made 364 days before that have fallen by the wayside months earlier. In general, I spend a lot of the day thinking about the lack of accomplishments from the past year and how I need to do better. And I never feel like going out on New Year's Eve and dealing with drunks, absentee cabs and crappy weather. I want to stay home, eat crap, play Guitar Hero and ignore the fact that another year hasn't passed in which I've done absolutely nothing of any value.

I can't remember any other year that flew by as quickly as 2009. It's been a blur and I credit wedding planning, a hectic work schedule, and general Type A tendencies to that. The summer feels nonexistent and the entire span from September to November could have taken place over the course of a weekend. I have never experienced time passing this quickly before.

To sum it up, 2009 was a blur. It was a blur of worrying, planning, hectic deadlines and unnecessary pressures. There was a lot of running around, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of hissy fits. There wasn't enough sleep, laughter, relaxation or enjoyment of life. In the past year I have not made time to go to the dentist or to see the "lady doctor". I had a total of two haircuts. I didn't talk to the bank about setting up a retirement account. I didn't reconnect with old friends. I didn't make time for any of that.

2009 wasn't a bad year by any stretch, don't get me wrong. My wedding on October 17 was one of the best days of my life and the week that followed in Paris was wonderful. I've had lots of lovely trips to the beach, visits home, dates with my husband and delicious meals. Everyone close to me is healthy and happy and doing well, and I try not to take that for granted.

At the same time there are some changes I'd like to make in 2010. I want to enjoy next year a lot more.

I want to see my friends more and hang out with them in my free time, and by "hang out" I don't mean, we've all been working 12-hour days for the past three weeks, let's go out this weekend and get completely shitfaced and cry about work. I mean, actual, enjoyable hang-out time as opposed to frantic sad inebriation.

I want to take better care of myself, which means getting to bed at a reasonable hour, taking my vitamins, not eating chocolate chips straight out of the bag by the handful, making my doctor's appointments and sticking to them, and being as active as possible.

It means financially too...this will be the year when I stop having all my money going into one bank account and just sitting there doing nothing. I'll start saving for retirement and budgeting much more carefully.

I want to take a vacation that's truly relaxing. I want to go camping and spend time at the beach this summer and not be on my BlackBerry the whole time, sneaking off to the car to "get a drink", i.e. check work email. I want to spend more quality time with hubby. Not necessary MORE time since we see each other pretty much constantly, but make better use of our time.

I want to enjoy every day more. Little things like a good glass of wine or a perfectly made cup of coffee, a bouquet of flowers, a Sunday afternoon to do nothing, a run in the park. It doesn't have to be a huge deal to be worth appreciating.

My goal for 2010 is to find balance--to not be overwhelmed with any one thing--and to enjoy every day. I want to have more spontaneous adventures, more laughs, better memories. Fewer night terrors and episodes of flipping out and feelings of guilt over not working out enough or not calling home enough or not visiting friends enough.

It's a daunting task but I think I can make a solid crack at it!

I love getting snail mail. Love, love, love it.

I love getting letters, magazines, catalogs, and cards.

I love getting special offers that are addressed to past tenants, particularly when they're for high-end products at department stores where I'm much too po' to be a regular customer...nothing like knowing in advance when I should set aside $35 for a Clinique gift with purchase at Mills.

I love getting books of coupons for McDonald's that say "TWO CAN DINE FOR $8.99!" Because after a splurge at Clinique, dining out for under $10 is the only option for po' folk like me.

I especially love this time of year, when we're much more likely to get Christmas cards...not addressed to ghosts of tenants past, but to us!

Today I came home to find next month's Glamour (yay!), some crap junk mail that went straight into the garbage, and a Christmas card.

Only the card isn't for me. It's addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Amy Peterslastname".

My last name is not Peterslastname. I'm not Mrs. Amy Peterslastname. I'm Ms. Amy Amyslastname.

Looking at the envelope, I got frustrated...unreasonably so. (I'm blaming my hormones for both the unreasonable pissiness and the fact that I've been parked on the couch since 7:30 eating Ruffles and vanilla pudding with chocolate chips in it.)

I know I shouldn't be upset by the mistake. We're married, after all, so I understand that many people would assume we're both going by Peterslastname now. And the card was from a couple who grew up in a much older generation, when changing one's name after getting married was a must. And a lot of girls do it...of my friends that are married, at least half have taken their husband's last name. As I've said before, I chose to keep my last name for professional reasons and above all, laziness. Standing in line at the DMV for hours to change my documents to read "Amy Peterslastname" does not sound like my idea of a great time.

Even so, after picking up the mail, I had a few moments of extreme irritation. Then I felt guilty for being irritated. Then I felt indignant because, frankly, it's not my name. Basically I'm in a glass case of emotion.

When I worked in journalism, people would call the paper in the BIGGEST hissy fit you could imagine if their names were spelled wrong, as if it were a crime against humanity. I feel like I can relate a little bit, and I feel like a bitch for relating.

It's something I'm going to need to get used to, because I'll probably encounter the same situation hundreds of times a year for the rest of my life. But I'm not sure if I'll ever learn to not be a leeeeeetle annoyed when it happens.

My Christmas baking day is coming up!! It's definitely among my top 10 favourite days of the year. I put the TV on something delightfully cheesy and Christmasy--usually the Christmas Daddies Telethon, because what's more festive than making fun of untalented children trying to help those less fortunate than themselves?

As I laugh at the horrible renditions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and further guarantee my VIP pass to hell one day, I bake up a storm. I eat a LOT of raw dough. I freeze some things, give some as gifts, and will probably share some with my coworkers. I give a lot of baking to family and friends. And I eat a lot of it myself. I just love Christmas baking...it wouldn't be Christmas without it.

I'm putting together my list for this year's baking frenzy. Right now here's what I'm thinking:

-sugar cookies--various shapes
-peanut butter balls
-candy cane cupcakes
-cherry-almond biscotti
-shortbreads--I might cheat and get this. It's a frozen tub of the best shortbread dough ever made. Just scoop and bake. Ha!
-oreo truffles--made these last year--SO easy.
-peppermint bark. Completely idiotproof!

I might need to spread it out over an entire weekend.

Any other suggestions for good Christmasy treats?

So, at the beginning of November I was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and renaming the month YESVEMBER in an effort to make it awesome.

Alas, in true November fashion this past month reared its ugly head and evolved into a downward spiral of shittiness. Which lead to goals being forgotten about, or just plain ditched, in favour of short-term sanity and an alternative to prescription drug abuse--retail therapy.

Without further whining and ado, here's a recap of how I did with my November goals.

Spending goals for November:
Rent: $1,500--CHECK! Can't avoid that baby.

Car insurance: $1,222--CHECK! Paid two weeks early too. Holla!

Car expenses (gas, tire change, oil change, bridge toll, etc.): $200

I actually came in a little under. I think I spent $90 in gas, $30 on the bridge and $60 on my tire change...so that's $180. HOWEVER, I also got a parking ticket for $25, which puts me $5 over budget. DISLIKE BUTTON.

Groceries and household expenses: $100

I spent about this much in groceries, pretty much bang on. I spent $60 earlier in the month and $25 more recently, plus I'm sure there were other assorted foods and errands here and there totalling pretty close to $100.


Gifts: $500*

Just doing the rough math in my head, I'm at $400ish with plenty more to come.


Wedding thank-you cards and postage: $125

Our thank-you cards cost $38! And our postage will probably be about $20. We'll be well under budget on the thank-you cards and mailing, so that's a nice surprise.


Miscellaneous: $200

I'm sure this was blown out of the water. I bought:
-lunch 3x this month--$30 total(ish)
-cupcakes--$6 (Peter bought us lunch at the Mongolie Grill. I figured I could spring for dessert!)
-clothing--$66
-personal care--$55 (moisturizer and eye cream, hair cut, shave gel, nail polish)
-date for Peter and I (movie and Swiss Chalet) $55--we went out after work on Friday to unwind from the week with a little Festive Special and New Moon action. It was nice to take HIM on a date for once and I'm happy about this expense.
-CD--$16. When out Christmas shopping I spotted the Glee soundtrack and picked it up. The music makes me happy and it seems wrong to steal happy music from Limewire. This is the first CD I've bought in years, but now I want lots of others (Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack, New Moon soundtrack. I'm a fiend for soundtracks apparently).
-lattes--$12. I had two Caramel Brulee lattes from Starbucks and a much more affordable but not as yummy McCafe.

Goals:
-no new clothes. I don't need new clothes. I don't need new clothes. I don't need new clothes. This will be my mantra. (Bet your little buttons I'll be marking catalog pages and leaving them around the apartment as Christmas hints!)

This didn't happen. I had to buy black stretch jeans for our dance competition (I found them at Garage for $30. The expense wasn't a total waste because I WILL wear them again.) I bought a sweater dress at Old Navy for $10 and a shirt from Joe Fresh for $5, plus a Smart Set necklace--$16. What can I say? Christmas shopping means "one for them, one for me" in terms of buying presents, apparently.

-bring my lunch every day this week. I brought lunch today. Tomorrow I'm on a video shoot all day and catering is provided. So that only leaves three lunches I'll need to pack--totally doable.

I did pretty well, buying lunch only three times all month. Once was Subway on the most stressful day of the year. Once was lunch with a former colleague, so it was a bit of an outing. The third time I went out for lunch with two coworkers and we just badly needed to get out of the office. Next month will be bad for lunches out because we want to do "Festive Special Fridays" with trips to Swiss Chalet for the Festive Special leading up to Christmas.

Stay tuned for December's budget and goals. I'm sure it will be a real hootenanny.

Yesterday I made a stupid mistake--I went to the mall on 20% Off Saturday with hopes of actually accomplishing some Christmas shopping and yummy bargains. How quickly those hopes were dashed. EVERYONE and their moms were at the mall yesterday afternoon. 20+ minutes to find a parking spot should have been a pretty good tip that the mall was going to be a zoo, but we braved it anyway.

Things escalated, I had an episode in Sears, and Peter had to usher me back to the car to avoid getting in a fistfight. We went home and wordlessly agreed never to bring up "the incident" again.

Here's an idea, storekeepers: host an afternoon during which shoppers pay 20% MORE to avoid douchebaggery. I would pay. I'm PO' and I'd still totally pay 20% more to be able to browse in peace, without being impaled by shopping carts or sweating bullets waiting in long lineups or having to ratch and dig through piles of sale merchandise like a groundhog making a burrow of sweaters and scarves. It's gross. I don't know what's worse to listen to: the baby screaming bloody murder or the hillbilly mom yelling at it to shut up or it's not getting any McDonald's.

Paying a premium for a calm shopping experience is something I'd be down with. Think about it: an environment where shopping carts, children, and more than five customers at a time aren't allowed. You and four others have full run of the store for 10-15 minutes. That's more than enough time to scout the place in piece, grab the items you want, pay and leave...very civilized. Very Zen.

Saving 20% is definitely not worth my sanity. I'd happily pay extra to make Christmas shopping into more of a pleasant and reasonable experience and less about popping Ativan and punching strangers in the face. You shouldn't have to resort to prescription drugs to check items off your Christmas list, and I for one am willing to cough up a little extra dough to ensure that's not the case.

It's the holidays after all. You're going to spend too much money, so why not ensure your shopping is as painless as possible? It's like a gift to yourself!

What could be more valuable than knowing your loved ones are getting gifts they adore, while you stay drug-free?

After all, if you're going to pop an Ativan to go shopping, you can't enjoy eggnog or Fireball the same day without worrying about side effects. Let's face it: the holidays are the best time of the year for festive drinkypoos. Now is not the time to be getting off the booze! Save that BS for after New Year's.

Cough up an extra $20 or $30, get your pressies, get out of the shops, and get a cocktail. Much more appealing than saving 20% on crappy, rushed gifts and crying all afternoon because you got stressed and slapped a child that wasn't yours. I think the choice is clear.

Lately I've wanted to spend all my time at home. I'm not sure why--whether it's the threat of winter coming, the early onset of darkness at the end of every day, the holidays approaching, or just exhaustion following a couple of the most stressful and all-consuming work weeks I've ever experienced--but all I want to do is be home.

I want to lie around and read, write, cook, listen to music, and just sit. I don't want to be getting jostled around in a mall or having to scream over the noise to communicate in a bar. I don't want to be stuck in traffic hollering at whoever's in front of me (generally dick licker or ass clown, depending on the day) to MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! I just don't want to be out.

It's Saturday and tonight's agenda is looking very laid back. I have to run out to pick up a few things and when I come back I'm planning to run on the treadmill downstairs, have a bath, read, and go to bed at a respectable hour.

An exciting Saturday night? Not in the slightest. But after being run ragged all week, downtime sounds heavenly. Simple things like a bubble bath, a crossword puzzle, a walk around the neighbourhood...those are the things that are the most appealing right now. I want to be quiet.

Movie review to follow :)

Over the weekend Peter and I went furniture shopping to spend some of our wedding money and make our humble abode a little less hood. Specifically, we're looking for a new dining room table and chairs (I think our current one cost $199 at Zellers. My former roommate, who for anonymity's sake we'll call Melissa Kennedy, broke one of the chairs one time and it needed to be welded in seven places) and a bedroom set. Our bed has no headboard and we have two dressers and one nightstand, none of which are a set or even similar in wood tone. It feels like colonial New England/Ikea/forest cabin in here. It's like the Rainbow Valley of furniture. Needless to say new furniture is exciting for us as old married folk and all. The biggest thrill of our day is seeing what's in the mailbox and listening to the police news on the scanner.

So we found a dining room set and a bedroom set that we both love on the weekend. The bedroom set we liked best is from a large national chain but we found it at a discount store as well for a much better price. The guy working that day, Justin, who was wearing a rainbow plaid shirt I haven't quite forgotten, quoted us $2,000 for the entire set which is a pretty amazing deal. The set includes a queen canopy bed, dresser, chest of drawers, mirror, and two nightstands.

Side note: Are furniture salespeople the most stealth people on the planet? You're walking around the showroom and they're just THERE in front of you with deals, deals, deals! Like they dropped out of the rafters or something. It's very offputting, IMHO.

Tonight, we went to order the furniture. We went to get the bedroom set first. Rainbow Justin wasn't working and his coworkers said the best they could do was $2,500 taxes in. They said $2,000 wasn't even possible and that Somewhere Over the Rainbow Justin is "new to the job" and didn't know what he was talking about.

Naturally I was all "THAT'S FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS' DIFFERENCE!" and flounced around amongst the bedroom sets in a huuuuge huff and left the store with a satisfying snotty whoosh. As I whooshed, I wondered if we should have just taken the set for $2,500. It's still an amazing deal and still much less than what the chain is asking.

What would you guys do? Take the set for $2,500 or haggle and argue for the $2,000 we were initially quoted?

Things to consider:

-I hate bartering prices. I feel like riffraff doing it. I like when the price is posted on something and I don't have to act like a greasebag trying to get a deal.

-That being said...it IS five hundred bucks. That's a lot of shoes.

What would you do?

We settled on this: we're going to call back when this Justin character is working, see if he can indeed get us the set for $2k, and even if not, we'll probably end up taking it for $2,500 provided they include delivery and perhaps installation. Peter is handy and all but if someone else wants to put together a bedroom set while we lounge with umbrella drinks and watch them I know which option I'm choosing.

We ordered our dining room set too. I can't wait to be EXCITED to sit at the table! Nine times out of ten I eat my food on the couch because our table and chairs suck so bad. They're fug and I don't want to sit at them. With the new table and chairs (WITH LEATHERY CUSHIONED SEATS!) meals at the table will be a fresh new experience! Computer work will be done at the table! Socializing will be done at the table! The couch is yesterday's news.

Oh yeah. The dining room set is on a boat coming from God knows where, Zimbabwe or someplace so it won't be here until December 15 at the earliest, and there's no guarantee it'll be in before Christmas. Womp-womp. Boats are barbaric. Who ships stuff by boat? Are we Christopher Columbus?

BTW: You're going to get a sneak peak into mi casa soon. There is an extra exciting project coming up that I'm very pumped about. It involves videos, a little friendly banter and some adult beverages. Stay tuned for more details. You might want to acquaint yourself with these people in advance.

I just got home from an approximately 13-14-hour, extremely stressful and edgy day and felt like having a tantrum. Instead, I'm going to try and focus on the things about today that weren't so bad. Then I'm going to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow hopefully feeling refreshed and completely ready to tackle Thursday.

1. Peter cooked me supper. We had poached chicken, perfectly crispy baked potatoes, corn, red wine and some chocolate cream pie for dessert. It was so nice to come home feeling absolutely ravenous and be able to vent while scarfing down an amazing dinner.

2. It's warm outside...+13 all day. I don't even mind the drizzle because it's warm.

3. I discovered Boozecats this morning--great for a laugh when you need a pick-me-up.

4. Christmas is one month from today. WOW--so much to do before then! I might take a Friday off over the next couple of weeks to have an extra work-free day to get my shopping done. My baking day is coming up too and I can't wait. This year I'm making Cora's Holiday Cookies, candy cane cupcakes, biscotti and perhaps gingerbread scones :)

Every night I hop up and down and yell, "I have to NaBloPoMo!" because I consider it a noun AND a verb. "Peter, what can I NaBloPoMo about?"

Peter sucks at giving blog topics. It's his one flaw, really. He usually suggests I write about whatever awesome thing he did on that particular day, the latest meal he cooked for me, how great he is at this or that, blah blah. Anyway, tonight when I demanded NaBloPoMo topics, we'd just come back from the gym in our building, and the Mormons on 9th (the ones that get locked out of their building when they go for runs at 6am?) were in there as well. So Peter suggested, "Why don't you write about what's up with the Mormons?"

I'm not familiar with what's up with "the Mormons" other than they wear ties and are super smiley and nice. But his suggestion did lead me to today's topic: religion.

I think anyone that meets me would be surprised to learn that I have indeed gone to church before and was actually quite involved in churchly things at one time. I have been told I don't necessarily emit the most God-like qualities, generally speaking. I disagree.

Jesus turned water into wine.
I too prefer wine to water.

Jesus wore flat sandals and dresses.
I wear flat sandals and dresses.

Jesus liked to preach to anyone that would listen.
I like to preach to anyone that listens.

Getting the drift? Just ask yourself, when you're tempted by Satan, WWAD? Then act accordingly.

My parents didn't go to church when I was little but when I started elementary school, my BFFs all went to Sunday school at the same Baptist church. I begged my parents to go because the cool kids went to Sunday school. My parents decided a little old-time religion wouldn't hurt anyone and thus my heathenism came to a screeching halt. I became a Sunday school regular. Eventually I started going to Awana on Wednesday nights. Other kids had Brownies...I had Awana. I memorized all the books of the Bible and can rattle them off to this day. I memorized Bible verses. I did cross-stitch crafts of...actual crosses.

In high school I continued going to my church's youth group and to Sunday school but things were starting to swing a little bit. Youth group was on Saturday nights. Parties were on Saturday nights. My parents had issues with some parties. They had no issues with youth group. I would get dropped off at the church at 6:30, wave at my parents, go into the church, run down the hall and out the door at the other end of the building, sneak through some bushes, go to whatever party was happening, and come back to the church by 10pm to get picked up. Did you know that drinking lemon gin has no smell?

I got away with this farce for months before my youth pastor ratted me out to my mother. Between that and an embarrassing Sunday school argument during which I (probably hungover from the previous night's "youth group") got into a heated debate with the youth pastor about whether or not women can become pastors (I said yes and he tried to tell me no...exsqueeze moi?) I stopped going to church. Between getting narced on and told that I couldn't be a pastor if I felt like it because I'm missing my bat and balls, which GOD neglected to give me I MIGHT ADD, church seemed like less of a good idea.

These days I go to church for weddings, funerals, and Christmas. And while I certainly don't consider myself religious, I do pray from time to time, which I feel guilty about because it's only when I want or need something. I like to believe there is something there, God or something like it, something that's in control and making good stuff happen. I find religion fascinating and the Bible has some amazing stories in it...but will I ever return to church regularly? I'm doubtful. I'll try to be an OK person, pray when I think of it, and hope for the best.

Apparently the American Music Awards were on last night. Since I'm old and married now with no concept of televised music events, I didn't know I'd missed them until today when I heard a news clip that Jennifer Lopez fell down on stage (I was hoping for more of a wipeout. She bounces up pretty instantly.)

Then I heard that Adam Lambert had caused a bit of a stir with a somewhat sexually racy performance. I don't know what or who an Adam Lambert is but when I hear 'sexual' and 'racy' I'm on Google faster than a 13 year old boy. Anyway, what I saw was this clip...racy, yes, suggestive, sure. I was only mildly surprised, but more than a little annoyed, to hear the response from viewers complaining about the performance, during which he kissed a man, along with various other acts of groping and what would be classified as "suggestive" touchy feely motions and stuff.

I wonder how many complaints there were back when Britney and Madonna (and Madonna and Christina Aguilera, but nobody seems to remember that one) kissed during the VMAs. I bet there were far fewer than the 1,500 complaints that ABC received today. What's the difference? The double standard is pathetic.

These people are entertainers. Calling them musicians is a stretch (obviously Madonna is ridiculously talented as an artist, performers like Britney and Adam Lambert are successful as entertainers and not necessarily because of their musical chops.) The point is, the theatrics on stage, the costumes, the dancers, the makeout sessions are as big a part of their act as their actual singing/lip syncing/drunken swaying and mumbling. Whatever they can do to generate attention and buzz is part of their schtick. It worked for Britney and Madonna and it worked for Adam Lambert. Before hearing about the performance, I had no idea who he was. Now I do. I find it funny that people can't fathom the concept of entertainment or don't understand when someone is trying to get a rise out of them.

Performers are looking for press through any means necessary. By complaining to networks, viewers are actually contributing to the success of performers like Adam Lambert and other "controversial" acts. I really wish I had the free time to contact my cable network to complain about something so stupid. Instead, I have the time to be sitting here blogging about it. Riiiight...

I guess I'm surprised that in a world where there is so much messed up stuff that people still get up in arms over something so trivial. I wish my worst problem was seeing two guys kiss for ratings on TV. I say props to you, Adam Lambert. I'm still not sure who you are, but you certainly had the performance of the night at the AMAs from the sound of things, and you manage to apply eyeliner better than most girls. Two thumbs up.

We received a bread maker as a wedding gift and this weekend I insisted on making a loaf of bread. I decided to start simple, with a loaf of basic white bread. How hard can it be, I wondered. Throw the ingredients in the breadmaker and whooooosh! it spits out a loaf of bread. Riiiight?

Yesterday we purchased a few ingredients needed for The Baking--primarily flour and yeast--both pretty essential to the breadmaking process, according to word on the street from my baking homeboys. We also needed nonfat powdered milk, which I had never heard of before, but OK. It's in the recipe so it must be in the store, I figured.

So we roll on over to Supastore (I call it that cause it's extra fly) to pick up the ingredients. First and foremost I freaked out about the flour. Did you know there are not one, not two, but MANY kinds of flour? I always buy all-purpose flour, or whole wheat if I'm feeling like tricking myself into believing my baking is healthy. But here I was faced with a wall of flour choices and no idea what to do. I took a real leap of faith and selected the flour labeled BEST FOR BREAD. Wild risk.

Then, it was time to purchase yeast. Again, a multitude of yeasts assaulted my eyes. I pulled out my cell to call Momma Bear because that's what I do when I have a baking emergency. I don't know how many times I've called my mother from the aisles of Supastore wondering how to make meringues or pizza dough or roast beef or Aunt Jemima knows what else.

Then I saw a little brown Fleischmann's Yeast jar with the label that read "FOR BREAD MACHINES". I hung up on my parents without saying hello. Ha! Powdered milk time...did you know that a powdered dairy product exists which you mix with water and then drink the mixture like milk? Does this make anyone else retch with phantom vom?

Fast forward to this afternoon (because after coming home from the grocery store at 10pm last night, we senior citizens were pretty zonked and crawled into our duvet cave like sleepy moles. Exciting night out and all) when I started The Baking.

Problem #1: the water was supposed to be between 20-32 degrees. Not sure about you chefs and chefettes but I don't keep a water thermometer in my kitchen for those water fever emergencies. I winged it.

Problem #2: I couldn't get the lid of the salt shaker to get out 3/4 of a teaspoon of the precious white crystals which would make or break my loaf. Burly Peter was too busy playing Duty Calls Let's Blow Up Random Shit Volume Two chopping wood and doing other useful things to open it for me, and we didn't have any spare salt in the kitchen to dip into, so I shook salt in the general direction of the teaspoon over the sink until enough had made its way into the spoon to suffice (meanwhile there's a mountain of salt accumulating in the sink).

I closed the lid of the bread machine with a little prayer and came back an hour later to check on its progress. To be honest, I was worried. There was a little doughy ball at the bottom of the pan, like a tennis ball in size, just sitting there. I assumed my water had been too hot and killed the yeast. I went for my run and for probably six of my 10-plus kilometres berated myself for being too stupid to bake bread successfully IN A BREAD MAKER and how this means I'm going to be a horrible mother and a sucky wife.

Back home (51 minutes later--GOOD TIME ON THE RUN, HUH!) I checked the bread again. It looked significantly puffier. Positive sign.

At this point, I won't drag this out for you any longer and keep you hanging on the edge of your seats wondering how the bread turned out. I know you're all going to skip to the end of the story, story ruiners.

SPOILER ALERT: It was awesome! The crust was perfectly crispy and the bread had a soft, light texture. It actually tastes and looks like bakery bread. We enjoyed our bread with some autumn vegetable soup and it was a tasty and simple meal to round out our weekend.

Step one of housewife transformation complete!

Making friends--good friends, friends you can hang out and do anything with--is hard. Since graduating, I've realized that most of the friends I've made (and by most, I mean probably all?) are because of work. I wish it was easier to make friends out and about. Like, you're at a coffeeshop and spot a girl whose bag you like, you comment on her bag, and you become friends. But instead, she finds you creepy and weird (worst case scenario) or says, "Thanks!" and smiles back and that's that.

I find it very easy to be friendly and get along well with essentially everyone and I have a lot of acquaintances, but when it comes to really good girlfriends--the kind you tell everything to, the kind you can rely on, the kind you can spend entire days with and have an amazing time--I could for sure count them on the fingers of one hand, and schedules and commitments make it hard to spend time with these friends. And I feel lonely. I'm NOT lonely--I have a husband who is my best friend--but sometimes I want to gossip shamelessly or get manicures or watch terribly trashy TV with someone else, and I feel bad making Peter watch The City and ANTM with me.

I have always had an easier time making friends with boys. I'm not sure why that is. I have a foul mouth and a dirty mind. That probably helps. Also, I don't consider myself to be very high maintenance or particularly girlie. I laugh a lot, I like sports and cars, and I think farts are hilarious and tiny dogs are stupid and not actually real dogs. I'm not particularly bitchy. I hate the issues that come up when you're hanging out with girls, how everyone complains how fat they (supposedly) are and the cattiness and the drama. With guys you don't get that. If boys are mad at each other, they'll call each other assholes and get over it. Girls will stew and drag their posses into it and drag out the pettiness until it's exponentially worse than the original tiff.

That being said, it makes me a little sad how difficult it is to connect with cool girls--potentially great friends--especially once you're out of university and into the working world. I love all my friends. But remember when you were little, in elementary school, and you could just go up to a kid on the playground and be like, "Want to play?" and boom, you were buddies. Why is it so tough to do that now? It's so easy to meet a date, between the Internet, friends desperate to hook you up with their single pals, or just being drunk at a bar and hitting on whatever looks decent at the time. It's too bad that identifying and growing genuine friendships can be so tricky and almost impossible.

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . makes it easy for me to do things like running and jumping and flailing around without obstruction.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . is the thing I think about and put the most energy into in my life. Whether that's good or bad, I haven't decided.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving alone. . . I have entire conversations with myself and am an excellent rapper.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . . to start taking better care of myself.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . . the inability to speak up.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . people get TOO CLOSE in unnecessary situations. Example: movie theatre bathroom, 30 empty stalls, and no matter what, SOMEONE WILL COME USE THE STALL NEXT TO YOU. Same thing in an empty parking lot!! WHY?

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . . I think I'm an amazing singer and dancer. And I'll be sick the next day.

8. I’ve come to realize that money. . . is totally the key to happiness. People who say that's not true are high hippies.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . . only call when they want something.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . have a chocolate advent calendar at Christmas time.

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . will always be 8 and 5 years old in my mind.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom. . . is way more complex than I used to think.

13. I’ve come to realize that cell phones. . . should come with leashes so you can't lose them. And drunk-dialing breathalyzers.

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . . I should have gone back to sleep.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . I should have flossed. My dentist hates me.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . . how can I be hungry already??

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . needs a vacation. He's the definition of workaholic.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . I get irritated at people who post about their baby's feeding/sleeping schedules and it makes me never want to have children for fear I'll turn into one of THOSE PEOPLE.

19. I’ve come to realize that today. . . is going to be lovely!

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . Peter is making cinnamon buns. Wooo!

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . I'm going to be stressed about work the following day.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . feel secure.

23. I’ve come to realize that the some people… need to learn when to stop talking.

24. I’ve come to realize that life. . . is never, ever, ever boring.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . is going to be laid back but busy.

26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . . Dr Dre Chronic 2001. AHAHAHAHAHA

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . . are tremendously busy.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . . has flown by too quickly and been too stressy.

29. I’ve come to realize that my ex(s). . . are best left in the past.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . get going with my day. It's 10:43AM and I'm still in my Saturday hoodie, no shower, no tooth-brushing has occurred. Gross.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . . my Saturday hoodie.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . the fascination with Robert Pattinson. Do not want.

33. I’ve come to realize my past. . . doesn't compare with my present.

34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . . are better when there is no guitar present. Get out the guitar and I'm out the door.

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . of not feeling valued.

36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . . is much better than I recognize.

But it's NaBloPoMo so I need to post.

Therefore, you get wedding photos:




The boys are so handsome. AWWWWIES.

Dear Santa,

How are you? I have been very good this year.

I've tried my very best at work every day and I've tried to be nice to my husband. I have only had one parking ticket, but it wasn't my fault. There was no sign that said you can't park in front of a stop sign. Anyway, I'll pay my fine. I haven't had any speeding tickets this year either! That's a big improvement over last year!

I haven't done any drugs and I haven't even been drunk more than 10 times. Again, I think this year is much better than last. I have read lots of books, practiced my music and cooked lots of treats. I have done a good job of staying out of trouble.

For Christmas I am having trouble coming up with gifts to ask for, so my list will be pretty short this year.

1. J. Crew catalog--please see any of the tailored dresses, any of the ruffly tops, and any of the bling-y jewelry. I like neutral colours and I'm a size...well...you know everything, right? No need to post it on the internet!

2. A new bag. I'm very much in need of a soft slouchy leathery bag. A good bag that will last for ages.

3. Club Monaco. Just walk into the store, close your eyes, spin around and grab something and you should be good. I like it all.

4. Body butter. Dry skin isn't cute. I'm sure you know this, being a resident of the North Pole and all.

5. New piano music. Peter is sick of hearing Greensleeves and Fur Elise over and over again ad nauseum. Simple music though. I'm pretty sucky, as you know.

6. Books, books, books! Or gift cards to buy books. I think I could be described as a turbodork.

7. Big plastic containers for organizing my closets. Again...TURBODORK. I have a lot of stuff. This stuff needs a place.

8. Shoooooes. You know what I like.

9. Gloves that are good for driving.

10. Lots of dates with my hot husband.

11. Self-esteem.

12. Contentment.

13. Relaxation.

14. Talent.

15. OPI nail polishes. A selection. I like the dark colours.

16. Opportunities.

17. Luck.

I think that considering how good I have been this year and how hard I have worked, this is not a very unrealistic list.

See you on December 24. I'll leave out some Bailey's and milk.

Love,
Amy

Over the past two days we've taken part in an 'ideation' course at work with the objective of learning to tap into our creative mindsets and not just come up with great ideas, but build on our instinctive ideas, hone the good ones and throw out the bad ones.

It's been interesting. Particularly because, as account people, we're seen as "suits"--the un-fun folks in the ad agency culture. The creatives get to be wacky and fun and come up with all the cool ideas. The account people are there to manage budgets and timelines and generally be buzzkills.

I liked that we got to take part in a workshop that focused on creativity and exercising that part of our brains. Personally, I loooove brainstorming sessions at work. I like to work closely with the creative team when I can because I love seeing ideas grow and flourish and come to life, and yes, get trampled and discarded when they're not so great. I love that part of the process.

One of the interesting things I learned from the session is that I'm a "machine gun" idea generator. I come up with ideas quickly and easily and am not afraid to shout out the stupid ones in addition to the good ones. There are also "detectives" (who need lots of background and context before coming up with ideas), "sifters" (who are good at determining which ideas are great and which are bad) and "honers" (ones who focus on one singular good idea and bust it out to perfection).

I'm not surprised to learn that I'm a machine gun. Even at home I come up with ideas quickly and always have a list of twenty million things to do that all seem awesome. The problem is, I don't give them the care and feeding they need to grow. I end up forgetting about them.

Hopefully, with the learnings from the workshop I'll be able to focus more on some of my ideas, bust them out into plans, and accomplish some cool things.

I have dozens of little ideas bubbling up right now. I can't wait to put some of them into action. I feel inspired and excited about the next several weeks, which is pretty much the best feeling you can ask for.

This morning I attended a class at Dalhousie University to answer questions about the ad campaign that Colour developed for their corporate residency MBA program, an account that I worked on pretty extensively through 2008.

The visit to Dal was interesting. It took me back to my post-secondary school years and, as always whenever I visit a university, made me think about going back to school.

I doubt that I'll ever go back to school. I'm 28 and a little long in the tooth to be gallivanting around with the undergrad crowd. But there's something to be desired about the schedule of a student. I lived a three-minute walk from the school and I had things timed perfectly. If I showered before bed, I could wake up at 8:45, slap on some makeup and clothes, leave the house at 8:56 and be in class with one minute to spare. Then it was a whopping one hour before my first break, which I'd streeeetch for 45 minutes. Then we'd do a two-hour lunch. In total I spent probably three hours a day actually *in* class.

There's none of that these days, oh no. I probably actually leave the building at lunch time once a week, and the two-hour lunch is a distant memory. Breaks are quick and usually consist of checking e-mail or going to the bathroom. Today, I left the office at 6:00 and was pretty pumped about it...and I'd arrived at work at 7:00am.

Being a student isn't all fun and frolic, however. I remember stealing garlic fingers out of the fridge in the profs' lounge after a staff party because I had no groceries and no money to buy food--although I'm pretty sure I had money for alcohol. Funny how priorities shift. I suffered through psychotic roommates, a house with five cats (FIVE CATS) and a landlord who was a religious fanatic all in the name of having affordable places to live.

At the time, none of this seemed like a big deal, but now I think going back to the student lifestyle would be akin to being a Survivor contestant without the chance to win a prize--it's dirty, tiring, malnourishing and gets old mighty quickly.

So while I had a little moment of envy for the Dal students today, I have to say I prefer the working world. Making money instead of spending it all on tuition and Crown Royal. Being able to buy clothes, not borrow the roommates'. Eating meals that are comprised of the four food groups--the actual four food groups, not PopTarts, Mr. Noodles, beer, and Revs. Just thinking about my diet in college gives me the dry heaves and a case of phantom scurvy.

What I do miss: the companionship, the opportunities to make friends, the lack of responsibilities, sleeping in, the free gym membership that I used all of three times.

Is it worth it to go back? No way. Not for me!

Have I mentioned I hate Sunday nights? I'm nauseous and ready to cry. Last week ended on a crappy-ish note (see Friday the 13th post for reference) and I don't want to risk a repeat this week.

It's definitely going to be a busy week. At work we have a training session all day Monday and half a day Tuesday and several other projects that are either wrapping up or just getting started. Plus, there is life outside of work (gasp!) and I have thank-you cards to prepare, Christmas gifts to buy, miles to run, meals to cook, etc. So in the name of surviving this week I have some pretty specific to-dos that need to happen.

-Be in bed by 10pm every night. I'm overtired (I slept off and on until 3:00PM today--what does that tell you?) I can't afford to get run down and sleepy.
-Run 5 times, do weights twice, do yoga or a long walk once.
-Have Wednesday's dinner planned on Tuesday, including grocery list. It's my turn to make our Wednesday dinner this week. Last week Peter made a pretty complicated chicken parmesan so there's some pressure! I have a couple options in mind.
-Clean out at least two dresser drawers.
-Choose a photo for our thank-you cards and request from our photographer.
-Have two Christmas gifts bought by Sunday as well as wrapping paper.
-Make a loaf of bread in our new breadmaker! This should be simple. I have a feeling it won't be.

I decided to start my Christmas shopping on a busy Saturday morning when a lot of the shopping centres in our area were having 30% off, no tax, etc. Great idea, huh? I set out pretty early with hopes of beating others to the punch. Not surprisingly, everyone seemed to have the same plan.

I went first to Chapters (mostly so I could sample a Caramel Brulee Latte) and then headed to Dartmouth Crossing to pick up some gifts. The stores were busy. The lines were long. The people were slow. AND THEN I got trapped in the parking lot, which has got to be one of the most frustrating experiences ever, particularly when you can't wait to escape. Allow me to use the powerful medium of visual art to demonstrate the scenario:



So you can see me parked in my spot in my little car, not hugging the yellow lines, being a responsible parker.

On my left you will see a GMC Envoy that was parked pretty much right on the line--to get in the car, I had to kind of turn and shimmy sideways to avoid nailing him (you know it's a man, shut up and let me generalize) with my door. On my right was a humungous black pickup that was parked pretty much on the line and also stuck out a bunch into the road. And directly behind me was yet ANOTHER monstrous black truck, with his nose also sticking out into the road, and a very classy guy at the wheel. Every time I looked in my rearview mirror all I could see was the colourful lenses of his Faukleys circa 1997 staring back at me. There was also a car parked directly in front of me so I couldn't just drive out of the space.

I tried to back up but I was completely trapped. I couldn't turn to either side because the trucks were so close, and I couldn't get backed up enough thanks to Faukleys to execute an Austin Powers-style 200-point turn to get out.

So I had no choice but to sit.

And fume.

I got more and more upset. And there was nothing I could have done!

I sat in the car and listened to my new Glee soundtrack, which kind of calmed me down. It was my Christmas present to myself. FYI, when Christmas shopping, the "one for them, one for me" present buying philosophy makes the whole thing a lot less painful.

Finally, Faukley's poodle-headed woman came out from wherever she'd been shopping and after what looked like a brief argument from my rearview mirror vantage point ("I've been sittin' in this truck all goddamn mornin' and now my Tim's is cold." "Well, you coulda told me there's no K-Mart in Dartmouth Crossin', lazy asshole!") they left. I took the opportunity to scoot. I felt like an animal that has been released from captivity back to the wild.

In total, I was probably trapped for 15 minutes. It felt like hours.

For the rest of the morning, I parked at the edge of every parking lot I entered to make for easy escapes. It meant having to hike a little longer carrying my bags but being able to leave when I felt like it was completely worth it. I made a little dent in my Christmas list and didn't cry or get into a fight--a successful shopping day.

Today was Friday the 13th and I should have stayed in bed! The morning started off with me freaking out over my new haircut (hate) and not being able to get my hair arranged how I liked it. Confession: I cheaped out and went to First Choice for a haircut (mistake #1). Normally I go to a salon downtown and see the same stylist, who knows my hair texture and can work with it really well. Yesterday, I decided spur of the moment that I needed a haircut after work. And in the interest of trying to be all frugal and recessionista and whatnot, I decided to go for the fast 'n' cheap option. Well, I look like Mowgli now:



Same haircut, same body, same disgruntled expression.

Anyway. I pulled my hair back into a stupid bob-tail and went to work sans breakfast, since I'd spent all my breakfast-eating time arsing around with my hair. So I had to settle for a banana at my desk (I know, biiiiig sacrifice, right? But normally breakfast is one of my favourite times of the day. I like to eat breakfast at a leisurely pace with coffee in my living room. A banana at my desk doesn't count.)

THENNNN I get to a meeting. Since parking in this particular area of the city is minimal to say the least I parked pretty close to a stop sign. I knew it was a bad idea. Halfway through the meeting I look out the window and there's the parking ticket guy measuring the distance from the stop sign to my car. I run out of the meeting and out of the building to move the car but too late--he's already put a $25 parking ticket on my car and won't take it back, even though I was about 10 seconds too late, if that. I know I was completely in the wrong and deserved the ticket but it's just one of those things. You know? If I'd spotted the guy a couple seconds sooner I could have avoided a ticket.

At the office everyone seemed really antsy and a lot of things blew up today, not just for me but for my coworkers as well. The atmosphere was tense and everybody seemed at their wits' end. It was just one of those days...actually, it's been one of those weeks. I'm beyond happy the weekend is here.

1. Pete and I went to a hockey game tonight, complete with rink beer, drunken idiots and lots of fights. It was a good way to destress after a very full week.

2. I'm doing a long run tomorrow. Running always helps clear my head, especially running outside.

3. Tomorrow is our Mocean fundraiser dance competition! If you're in Halifax, come to the McInnis Room in the Dal SUB at 7:30 to see team Colour make complete asses of ourselves.

4. After said dance competition, there will be drinkypoos. Much needed drinkypoos.

5. This weekend I'm also hoping to get started on Christmas shopping and conquer this stupid cheap-ass $15 haircut, because I'm not rocking the bobtail until it grows out.

Friday the 13th now has 63 minutes to go and I plan on sleeping them away. Onward and upward!

When I was a kid I got in trouble a LOT. I wasn't particularly bad...just noisy. And bossy. And sassy. Hard to believe, right? So trying to think back on my most creative punishment is tricky.

I remember dozens of times as a little kid being in a grocery store or a department store in my puffy winter coat and ski pants, ready to pass out from the heat in the store. I was probably sleepy and not in the mood to be out shopping. So naturally, I'd get antsy. Maybe I'd start pulling random food off the shelves and dropping it into the cart. Maybe I'd pick at my baby siblings in hopes I'd get them crying so we'd be rushed out of the store. Or I'd just start whining for treats.

At a certain point my dad would hiss in my ear, "IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SPANK YOU RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS STORE IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE!!!!!" I don't know what it was about that threat but whatever I was doing, I stopped. The funny thing was, we never ever got spanked--it was a totally idle threat. But something about the embarrassment of potentially being bare-assed in front of a store full of well-behaved children and their NICE parents was enough to shut me up. Every time.

Once, when I was around kindergarten age, I slapped my sister and of course she started blatting. My mother was exasperated. "That's it!! You're going to your room for ONE HOUR!!"

I had no comprehension of one hour. I went to my room. I yelled out after probably three or four minutes. "Can I come out yet?"

"No."

A couple minutes later. "Can I come out yet?"

"No."

I don't know how long she kept me in that room. It felt like DAYS. I kicked my bed and screamed and bawled and hyperventilated. I totally flipped out. When I was released I ran outside like a banshee. These days I'd give anything for an hour in my room in the middle of the day, to read or write or just SIT. Back then, it was like Alcatraz.

As I got bigger the punishments varied a little. Sending me to my room was no longer effective when I could crawl out the window, watch TV, and listen to music. In middle school, my parents started taking my phone away for days at a time when I did something bad. Pure torture. I'd hear the phone ringing in another room and hear Mom answer it. "Hello? Yes, she's here, but she can't come to the phone," she'd say, and I swear I could hear the smugness in her voice. I wrote in my journal about hating my parents and blah blah blah OMG WTF. (Except OMG WTF didn't exist then). I was never grounded but I was forced to miss events. I don't know how many high school dances I sulked through in my room, totally emo, listening to Silverchair or whatever I listened to when I was pissy.

None of my punishments were totally unique, save for a detention I had in middle school where they made all the detainees rub the black marks left behind by sneaker soles off the hallway floors. That was at least semi-interesting, although probably illegal (I'm pretty sure teachers can't force students to do janitorial work, but there you go).

Thanks to Mama Kat for the prompt!

Pete and I have been married for just about a month and we get asked a lot, "Sooooo, HOW'S MARRIED LIFE?" And the ask-er will sit there with that wide-eyed, mouth hanging open, expectant face, like we're going to reveal some horrible secret about our sordid existence and they just can't wait to gobble up the info.

The truth? Married life is exactly the same as before we were married.

Do we argue? Probably less than leading up to the wedding, when we were both stressed out with wedding planning.
Are we gaining weight? Nope...we're still both working out and eating the same.
Sex? Hasn't changed.
Pregnant? No.
Name? Same
Bank accounts? Still have our own.

We're happy and having fun and the only difference is that now we have a lot more cool gadgets to play with, thanks to our lovely wedding guests and their very generous gifts. I can't wait for my Christmas baking day (it's already scheduled--Sunday, December 6) so I can use my new bakeware and the 800-pound shiny black KitchenAid mixer that's on our countertop. Mornings have improved a gazillionfold since I started using our new coffeemaker before work. And right now I'm cuddled up in a cashmere throw that's nice and cozy.

All in all, things are just as nice as they were before. I like being married (although the terms "husband" and "wife" still sound weird) and I wouldn't change anything about our wedding and honeymoon. I love my husband very much and right now I feel like the happiest girl in the world.