This weekend, H2B and I went to meet with our minister for the wedding. It was a good meeting, minus the fact that I was holding back projectile vomit* the whole time. Our minister has some pretty interesting ideas in terms of conducting the service, a huge relief because I'm not a big fan of a supertraditional wedding ceremony. For example, he doesn't say things like "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" or "I now pronounce you man and wife" or "You may kiss the bride"...he's very big on this being a joining of two equal people. However, he gave us lots of things to think about that to be quite honest, I hadn't even considered, because TheKnot.com and WeddingBells.com and other planning sites/magazines don't really go into those details. Things like:

-choosing the readings for the service
-deciding whether anybody else will be participating in the service
-how will our parents be involved?
-what order will the processional happen...i.e. will the groomsmen come in first, then the bridesmaids, or will they come down the aisle in pairs and then split up at the altar?
-what music will be played?
-what time will the wedding happen?

These seem like such obvious questions and I can't believe we hadn't considered them beforehand. It's a little freaky to me that there are just SO MANY details to remember and keep straight, and I've been so caught up in the centrepieces and dresses and things I've really neglected the more practical to-dos that need to happen.

Right now we are tentatively thinking of having the service at 4:00 and dinner at 6:00. That gives us about an hour and a half for pictures and changing the room around, which sounds just about right.

I can't wait to get these details straightened out so we can move on to fun stuff, like engagement photos and invitations. I think we might try to nail down some of the un-fun deets this weekend. It feels like forever away but it's just 215 days! Crazy. We've been doing really well putting money away for it...I think I've saved $1,300 since January and I'm not sure what H2B has put away but it's at least that much, so paying for this sucker shouldn't be a problem.

In unrelated news, I should be getting roughly $650 back on my income tax return...sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!


*I threw up ALL DAY Sunday. So gross. It includes barfing into an empty ice cream container in the car during the drive back to Halifax and practically tearing the door off the men's handicapped washroom outside the minister's office to woof my cookies all over the one (thankfully!) empty stall.

Confession: I like to give myself pep talks in the morning when I'm getting ready for work. Dorky? Extremely. Effective? I think so. In all seriousness, I feel more focused and more energetic and positive on days when I give myself a bit of coaching and encouragement bright and early.

Mind you, this is not me staring at my reflection in the mirror engaging in some kind of solo abusive Glengarry Glenross monologue, and it's no New Age hippy-dippy shit. I'll be brushing my teeth or putting on mascara, and I'm thinking..."Yep...I'm going to kick ass today."

Then I'll think of a couple specific challenging things I've got coming up; i.e. a tough client call that's in my calendar, or a horribly tedious document I need to piece together, and I'll tell myself "The call's going to go really well. I'm going to put notes together beforehand and we'll just go through the list and it'll be over before I know it. I'm going to finish my report by 3:00 and then I'm gonna have coffee with hot chocolate in it while it's being proofed. In nine hours this will all be over and I'll be home watching The City and wondering why I was stressed at all."

Guess what? That's usually exactly what happens. I don't know why, or how, but that 90 seconds of thinking good thoughts in the morning can make all the difference and keep a crazy day from going completely off the rails.

I think thinking positive thoughts has much the same effect as receiving a compliment or encouragement from a friend or coworker. It can be just the boost you need to get through a tricky situation. And the best part is, in nine or 10 or 14 hours, your workday WILL be over. The document that seemed so daunting on Monday is a thing of the past come Thursday. Next week, you probably won't even remember the client meeting that's giving you so much grief today.

When all else fails, bribery is golden. For me, it's hot chocolate in my coffee--that's my big work reward for doing my shitty task du jour. Until the job is done, it's water or regular coffee or green tea (gag) but once the worst item is off my to-do list, get the eff out of the kitchen because mama's coming in and she wants her hot chocolate fix. The exception is Friday afternoons, when beer o'clock rolls around (yes, we have a beer keg at the agency). On Friday afternoons I sometimes reward myself with a nice cold brewski or three just for surviving another week.

So go ahead...give yourself a nerdy pep talk in the morning, stick a smiley Post-It on your bathroom mirror, or write yourself a little note of encouragement on your desk calendar. There is nothing wrong with some positive reinforcement and good vibes, no matter what the source. You're awesome, capable, intelligent, and you're going to kick today's ass, no questions asked. There's a hot chocolate/beer/Diet Coke in the kitchen with your name on it!

I always thought having an ability to multitask was a good thing--a skill to list on a resume, a positive asset at work. My impression was that it said, "WOOOOOOOO, I can do TWO things awesomely at the SAME TIME! Sometimes MORE than two things!"

Lately, I've been finding quite the opposite is true. Multitasking sucks and instead of doing multiple things well, I'm just doing multiple things crappily, and nine times out of ten I have to go back and do them over again. Combine that with an increasingly ADD nature of checking my email every time I get a new message, feeling the need to get involved with every single conversation going on within a 20-foot radius of my desk, and having a to-do list as long as my arm, I decided it's time to revamp my work habits.

I thought about it over the weekend and realized I'm multitasking essentially all day long. That's exhausting. Examples from the past couple of days:

1. When talking to my parents on the phone (which I only do twice a week), I'm either playing on the Internet, reading magazines, or tidying up the apartment.
2. When I'm watching TV I'm either painting or lifting weights
3. On Saturday I was trying to do crunches on a stability ball while reading an article for work (!!!)

That last incident kind of drove the point home for me that sometimes doing one thing well is better than doing two things half-assedly. I was falling off the ball and doing shitty crunches, plus I wasn't retaining what I was reading whatsoever and I had to reread the article when I was done. I thought I was being productive by combining two things at a time but all I'd done was doubled my efforts and gained nothing.

For me, the two biggest things that hurt my output at work are distractions such as email and phone calls, and trying to do too many things at once. I have a tendency to want to respond to every email and every request right away and end up adding mountains to my to-do list as a result.

This week I'm turning over a new leaf...it's Monday, so it's a fresh start and all that, right?

1. Write a to-do list for the day first thing in the morning and allot chunks of time to each task. Example: status meeting 9-10, edit document 10-10:30, etc. I'll only deviate from this plan if something urgent comes up. Sounds anal, huh? Well, I like anal. (Wait...what...??)
2. Check email at designated times only. This is going to kill me. I'll check email at 10:00, 12:00, 2:00, and 4:00 and again before leaving. Oh, wow. I'm shaking a little just thinking about it.
3. At the end of the day I'll make a to-do list for tomorrow.
4. Use iTunes as needed as an anti-distraction tool (with headphones, obvi.) I have lots of nice, soothing, get-shit-done music that I like to listen to at work and I find I do my best work when I'm kind of zoned out and not paying as much attention to what's going on around me in the office. I love the busy, active atmosphere but it's REALLY hard to hunker down and not be social a lot of the time, which is why if I have an important document to work on, like a brief or a report, I usually prefer to work on it from home or out of the office so I can concentrate better.

I'm so excited to get to work right now and get started with my new habits, I can hardly brush my teeth.

Happy Monday, everyone!