It's been a while, hasn't it? I just can't seem to wrap my head around a blog post these days.

I'm sorry (not really)(ish).

I promise to try harder. Soon.

I have about a dozen drafts started, but for today, I'll phone it in with a bulleted list. Bulleted lists happen to be my favourite format for anything. Things look 100% more professional and polished when you add bullet points. It's science. Got an assignment you need to hand in and made approximately zero effort? Bullet that noise and it instantly looks like you tried.

Now you know the secrets to my success.

What's been going on the past week and a half or so?

• A half-assed attempt at Black Friday shopping, ending in a flurry of muttered F-bombs and flinging an armful of sweaters back into the pile at American Eagle and storming out of the mall (I fucking hate Christmas shopping).
• A baby who had a cold which turned into a stomach virus. Want to have your heart ripped out? Watch your normally boisterous, active, happy little boy turn miserable for days, not want to eat, in obvious discomfort. So much worse than being sick yourself. 
• A bout of food poisoning. Turns out undercooked bacon isn't good for you, even when you have no bacon on your half of the pizza. Runoff bacon juice is also a killer. Lesson learned: cook, then eat. 
• Lunchtime runs. A better energy boost for the afternoon than a second cup of coffee. 
• A new iPhone for work. New toys! 
• Songza.com, all day, every day. They have some great holiday playlists but I've also enjoyed Songs To Raise Your Kids To and 00's One-Hit Wonders.
• I got bangs!
• Procrastinating the following things: getting an oil change (TOMORROW!), ordering Christmas cards, taking the fall decorations down and putting up the holiday ones, framing our new family photos,  figuring out what to bake this year. 

That pretty much sums it up.

And how are you?

10. Because it's a Tuesday, you just spent 45 minutes in traffic, you need a treat, and sparkly things are fat-free.

9. Because your mom spent 30 hours birthing you, and she deserves something pretty for her efforts.

8. Because it's cheaper to buy a new necklace to spice up your LBD for holiday parties than a brand new dress, tights, and shoes.

7. Because wearing a white shirt and black pants to work every day is boring, but a new cuff makes you look like you made an effort in the 0.2 seconds it takes to put on.

6. Because Christmas is coming, and the best kinds of presents for your girlfriend/wife/person you're "seeing" absolutely come in small packages.

5. Because when the package shows up at your door within a week (WITHIN A WEEK!) it'll be an awesome surprise for you to open.

4. Because going to the mall sucks at the best of times, but especially between now and December 25.

3. Because it's getting chilly out, and you need a new scarf anyway - it might as well be pretty.

2. Because little girls need something sparkly.

1. Because looking like a million bucks only costs a few!

Have a gander at my online trunk show. Christmas shopping honestly could not be any easier - browse, buy, and have your gifts shipped right to your door. There are a lot of beautiful pieces on sale, everything arrives in gorgeous packaging, and it ships crazy fast.

I have a few Stella & Dot pieces in my jewelry box. Some of my favourites are this necklace, this bracelet (looks great in a stack), and these studs, which I have in both colours and wear all the time. If you're interested in ordering or have any questions, please email me or leave your info in the comments.

On Saturday, Eli turned one. We woke up, got him dressed in his "Happy Birthday to Me!" shirt, and brought him downstairs to open his presents: a new wagon, some (much needed) new outfits, Superman PJs, a chatter phone, and some drawings, handcrafted by his dad. His grandparents, aunts, uncles and baby cousin Payton arrived after lunch and stayed all afternoon to celebrate. We capped off the day with cupcakes and Eli thoroughly enjoyed his first sugar rush and the subsequent crash afterward. 

I track all my runs using Daily Mile (you may have noticed the handy little widget in the sidebar, if not, it's over there. >>>) It's an online running community that has been hugely valuable to me this year. Whenever I had a question about training, shoes, nutrition, you name it, these people had the answer. Plus, they post nice comments all the time. Whether you have a good run or a crappy one, there's someone to encourage you. I like how the site tracks your miles, in total, year to date, and by week, and there are all sorts of infographics, which are my weakness.

It's also nice to track your runs amongst a group of fellow enthusiasts, so you aren't that asshole tweeting to the masses about every workout, making everybody who's checking their phone over hungover eggs benedict feel even more awful. I've been on both sides of that scenario and it's no good. The only people who really give a shit that you've gone for a run are people who run themselves.

A couple months ago I did some quick math (is "quick math" an oxymoron for anyone else?) and figured out that if I ran approximately 25 miles a week for the rest of 2012, I'd hit 1,000 miles this year. I decided that I'd count biking miles too, which is cheating, kinda sorta, but makes it a lot easier for me to reach my goal. Admittedly, September is a stupid time to set a mileage goal for the year, which was mistake #1. Mistake #2 was pretty much taking June off from running. It wasn't a mistake for my IT bands, so in the long run, it was a smart move. But as you can see, June is definitely the low point on my little graph. I ran the half in May and then it was like URRRCHHHHHHH! (that's my cartoon sound effect for "a screeching halt"):



So I won't technically be able to say I "ran" 1,000 miles. My plan is to "cover" 1,000 miles this year.

There are seven weeks left in 2012, and as of right now I have to knock off 21.7 miles per week to make my goal.

For seasoned runners, long-distance types, and people that are really serious about it, 1,000 miles in a year is very small potatoes. There are people who go out on a Saturday morning and do a long run for shits and giggles that's longer than what I'm aiming to do in a week.

I'm not sure what it is about the number 1,000 that resonates with me, but that's my goal: 1,000 miles this year.

I've already beaten the 1,000 kilometre mark. As of today I've run 1,084 kilometres and covered 1,384 in total. 1,000 miles just sounds cooler. Sorry, metric system.

So I've just spent the past 10 minutes poking around in Daily Mile and learned a bunch more fun stuff:

• I have exercised for 145 hours this year 
• I have burned 21 pounds (THEY LIE) 
• I've gone around the world 0.03 times
• I've saved $45.28 in gas
• I've powered 126 TVs
• I've burned off 413 donuts

With three days down after a year-long hiatus, I'm realizing there is a lot - a LOT - of really, really basic stuff about going to work that I'd forgotten.

1. You have to get up absurdly early. Like, still-pitch-black-outside, turn-on-the-bedside-lamp-and-do-the-squinty-eyed-mole-thing-for-ten-minutes early.

2. You have to increase your caffeine intake by at least 50% to function. If you're a two-cup girl on your days off, you gotta do three on work days.

3. High heels are the absolute worst. Ditto wedges. There's a reason I have been wearing flats for the past two years and it's because heels are Satan's footwear. If you have to remove your shoes in the car on the drive home, you're doing it wrong.

4. Speaking of the drive home: every assclown who can barely operate a motor vehicle in the city is attempting to get out of town at the exact.same.time. as you so be prepared for a lot of sitting in traffic. Bring some good tunes, maybe a snack, perhaps a magazine, definitely some Ativan.

5. You have to use your big-girl words. Saying "Good JOB!" in a falsetto voice when a coworker performs a basic function like, say, throwing an apple core in the garbage can, is not a good way to encourage people to take you seriously. Remember: You are talking to adults. You are not talking to an infant. 

6. Nothing feels better than getting home and shucking off your clothes in favour of yoga pants, a hoodie, and fuzzy socks.


7. Correction: nothing feels better than picking up your little guy at the end of the day and getting your first bear hug in 10 hours.

(Yoga pants are a close second.)

For Eli's first Halloween, he dressed up as a cowboy and we took him to a few neighbours' houses to say hello.

The one photo out of about 150 where he's actually wearing the hat and not screaming bloody murder.

For the most part, Eli wanted nothing to do with Halloween.

WORST DAY EVAR

He wouldn't leave his hat on and he sort of tolerated the poncho.

He liked watching trick-or-treaters come to the house, but the whole "wearing a costume" aspect wasn't his bag.

No one else here is wearing a stupid hat. Neither am I.

Fair enough. We settled for handing out treats and dancing to Halloween playlists on Songza.

HAD ENOUGH. K CYA

Hope you had a safe, fun Halloween!