The relationship I have with my mom is pretty normal. We're close enough, but we're not BFF. I tell her an abbreviated version of the truth about everything, censoring the gory details. If I have eight drinks, I tell her I've had four. If I've had four, I tell her I've had two. If I got chased by a crazy-eyed man while walking to my car, I'd forget to mention it.

And I'm sure she's just the same with me. I remember getting caught saying THE EFF WORD in elementary school and my parents cornered me about having a filthy mouth. Blubbering through my tears, I asked them if they had ever said the forbidden word. My dad fessed up right away. "I've said it a couple times," he said, straightfaced*. My mom shook her head emphatically. "I've NEVER said THAT WORD," she insisted. Lies!

As much as we might fib to one another about our drinking habits and words of choice, one thing about my mother that's great is that she was always very supportive, no matter what I wanted to do. Running for student council, studying journalism, entering the school science fair, buying a house, she's always been encouraging and never tried to restrict me from doing what I thought would make me happiest. She might have cried all day the day I moved to Halifax as she helped me pack my things, but never tried to keep me from leaving. Having the support of both my parents is something I've always experienced. I have a hard time imagining things any other way. I don't understand parents who hold their children back.

Last week, I was lucky enough to be able to attend Neptune Theatre's Word on the Street production of "The Beauty Queen of Leenane".

I won't spoil the story, but in a nutshell it deals with a dysfunctional (that's putting it lightly) relationship between a mother and daughter in Ireland. The daughter has been taking care of her elderly mom for decades. She's 40 and has never left home. Whenever the opportunity presents itself for her to leave, her mother sabotages it. You alternate between feeling sorry for the mom, then sad for her daughter moments later. And the ending was definitely not anticipated! I left the theatre grateful for my mom, even with her little quirks. After all, she's never kept me prisoner in an Irish cottage. If our biggest issue is the occasional teeny-tiny fiblet, I realized, we're doing pretty well. She truly has our best interests at heart.

If you're in Halifax and are looking for something to do, I highly recommend you check out The Beauty Queen of Leenane at Neptune Theatre. It will make you appreciate your healthy relationship with your parents so much more, if that's your situation. If the play reminds you of your own life...well, I hope you guys have a happier ending than poor old Maggie.

*Dad says THE EFF WORD a couple times an hour, and that's when he's happy.

(Warning: If you're eating right now, stop reading. If you have a chocolate bar or a Tootsie Roll you were planning to enjoy later, maybe you should eat it now, then come back to this post in a bit.)

So now that my seven deadly sins meme is done, I can switch gears a little bit and talk about the more important and pressing issues that are going on in my life. Currently my biggest issue is that my dog eats his own turds. "Oh sure," you say, "my dog eats his own frozen poops all the time." Oh, but wait. I didn't say 'frozen turds'. We're talking fresh, steamy, just-hit-the-ground turds.

He goes out to poop. He poops, turns around, presumably to sniff it (why do dogs do this?!) but he WOLFS IT DOWN in one bite.

This has been happening for about a week or more. Before, he'd occasionally find a frozen hunk of whatever and chew on that, but now it's escalated to the point where he eats every single bit of feces he produces. We yell at him and tell him he's bad, and we don't give him a treat after he's just devoured his own poop, but it doesn't seem to be working.

What can we do? Do we have to go out with him every time he pops a squat and yank him away from it so we can pick it up? Is it a puppy thing? What is the appeal of eating your own poop?

Please tell me if you've had a puppy who loved eating fresh turds as much as Rory does so I don't continue thinking we have this sick maladjusted poop-fetish dog. We can bond about it.

Also...it's probably a good thing that this is my worst problem right now.

We have finally come to the end of the road - the last of the seven deadly sins. Today's sin is lust and I'm supposed to tell you seven love secrets. Thing is, I don't really have any love secrets. It's all common sense. I'd say these statements from the mouth of Captain Obvious rather than secrets.

1. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

2. Don't be greedy.

3. Communicate lots.

4. Tying in with #3 - LISTEN lots.

5. Make sure to say "I love you" every single day.

6. When you see them for the first time in a while (whether it's a week apart or two hours) give them a hug like you have been missing them for years.

7. A relationship doesn't just grow on its own. Surprise! It takes work.

The last one has been the biggest eye-opener for me. In the past, I have been, shall we say, a bit lax in the effort department. I figured if I was showing up that was enough. Not so much. A relationship does take some work, ideally not too much work, but, news flash, you do have to make an effort. Little gestures like making dinner or cookies for your "special friend", tucking a note in their pocket or planning a date night, even if it's just getting coffee and going for a walk, go a long way. You can't assume the other person is going to take care of everything, even if things seem hunky-dory today with minimal effort...I guarantee that will change.

(Mental note: bake cookies after work.)

If you feel like following along with this meme, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Let me start off by saying I don't think 'gluttony' should be a deadly sin either. I think these sins are a little overrated in terms of their severity. Let me be your moral compass, children!

I am a bona fide glutton. When I find something I enjoy, I just can't get enough. This is why I gained about 20 pounds after starting a job that included free beer. (I have since lost the weight, thanks).

It's why on Tuesday night, after a long day's work and a four-hour volunteer shift after work, I fell asleep clutching my bulging gut after inhaling half of a large (read: intended for six people) garlic fingers from Boston Pizza.

It's the reason why a couple Easters ago, if you were driving on the highway between New Brunswick and Halifax, you might have spotted half a chocolate bunny on the side of the road. I ATE HALF A POUND OF CHOCOLATE RABBIT BETWEEN SACKVILLE AND OXFORD. I had to throw the rabbit out of the car to keep myself from eating the whole thing, and then, inevitably, dying.

Without further ado, my seven guilty pleasures:

1. Red wine. Particularly pinot noir or cabernet sauvignon.
2. Cheese. I'm not picky.
3. Shows about the Kardashians. I hate them but I want to hang out with them, especially Khloe, she reminds me of myself in a lot of ways.
4. Shows intended for 15-year-olds in general.
5. Snood.
6. Misty Mints.
7. Anything that combines chocolate with salt. Chocolate salty balls notwithstanding.



If you feel like following along with this meme, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Five years ago, I ended a horrendous situation with a breakup. I can't even call it a "relationship". It was a situation...one that left me disillusioned and skeptical of everyone avec wang for a solid 12 months. It was so pathetic I stayed single for a year, eventually realized that it was possible to go an entire day without bursting into tears or feeling completely miserable, and learned that there's nothing wrong with being alone. I was living in a new city, I had a new job, I made new friends and for the first time in several years I was having fun and acting like myself.

One year later, I decided to start dating again, or at least be open to the possibility that not all males are cat feces and that I might want to be in the presence of one again. I went on a handful of dates. Some were atrocious. Some were entertaining. They all make for good stories that I can look back on now and laugh. At the time it felt like extra work - exhausting and stressful.

My friend Adam from high school messaged me on Facebook one day to say that there was someone I just had to meet, a friend of his from university. Apparently, he was like the male version of myself because we both had horses growing up and are both dirty-minded. He suggested we go on a double date to a martini bar in Halifax. I agreed, and figured that at the very least I'd get a free martini and another story for my little book. I remember the outfit I picked out - gray pants (vertical pinstripes = slimming), a white top and a big chunky necklace, and heels. I didn't know if the guy would be taller or shorter than me and decided I didn't care, I was wearing heels.

I got to the bar and was surprised to see that Adam's friend was better-looking and better-dressed than I'd expected, which made me nervous. He was also taller than me, even in heels...bonus. He was polite but not very talkative. I guzzled a Sour Apple and blabbed away. When it was time to leave, he mentioned getting together soon to hang out. I agreed and we exchanged email addresses and numbers, but as I drove home, I thought, "you are never going to hear from him again." And I was a little disappointed.

A few days later, he emailed. He explained he'd had internal bleeding the night of our double date which was why he wasn't really drinking and wasn't very talkative, and asked if I wanted to go out and get some dinner that week. We went to a restaurant and spent a couple hours chatting over our food and I realized he was actually pretty normal and sane and nice to spend time with, when his innards weren't ripped to shreds. Later that week, we had beers on a patio and went for a walk. For my 26th birthday, there were flowers and a birthday cake - the first time I'd gotten flowers from a guy since grade nine. I realized, with surprise, that he liked me. Shortly after that, we were a couple.

It was hard for me at first, still coming out of the mindset that all men are swine. I always assumed something was wrong because things seemed too good to be true. I picked fights, got suspicious for no reason, let my imagination work overtime. I was neurotic and shy. I told him a secret. He listened and didn't judge. I told him everything. I realized he was a genuinely good person and that I didn't need to be on guard.

A year and a half after we got together, we got engaged in a covered bridge in the town where I grew up and where he went to university. A year after that, we got married. We've said "I love you" every day since June 2007, never missed a day. I don't know how I've gotten so lucky. I'm still kind of surprised he likes me.

Happy Friday! I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this post so much. Come ON. There need to be seven worldly material things I'd love to have! But this is the fourth time I've sad down to write this post over the past two days and I'm still drawing a complete blank.

OK...focus. Seven material things I'd love to have:

1. A summer home on the beach. The beach has always been my favourite place and being able to walk out my front door steps away from the ocean for a few months of the year would be amazing. Plus, there's the whole atmosphere of being at the cottage. Things like showing up barefoot at your neighbour's for a visit or drinking beer at 8:00AM on a Wednesday just seem way more acceptable at the beach.

2. A pair of Louboutins. I just really like the pretty red soles. I would probably never wear them outside of my closet, but I'm sure I'd smile every time I saw that peep of red.

3. An Omega watch. Hubby has one that's just like James Bond's watch and it looks like it can shoot grappelling hooks and lazer beams. If I had one, I'd probably just point it at people I didn't like all day and make "pyoom pyoom pyoom" noises - that's the sound a lazer makes, if you were wondering.

4. A new pair of cross-country skis and boots. I feel like I could enjoy winter if there were a sport I could get into that doesn't involve tumbling down a mountain. Unfortunately skis and gear aren't cheap!

5. A "big" iPod. I have a Shuffle, which is perfect for running and going to the gym because it's so small, and I have custody of Pete's Nano, but it's an older version and for some reason I can't update the songs on it from my laptop anymore, meaning it's stuck on an endless loop circa "Buy You A Drank" and "Party Like a Rockstar". I would like a real-deal iPod that I can put all my CDs on and throw out the discs, one that I can plug in in the car and actually see what song is coming up next and create playlists and such. I'm not sure why I have an iPod on this list like it's some kind of big unattainable goal. See? Coming up with seven things was hard?

6. A boat. I would love to be able to toot around on my little boat all summer blasting "I'm On A Boat" over and over and over.

7. A horse. Because when I'm not boating, skiing, or drinking at the cottage, it would be nice to be able to go horseback riding. Of course I would also need all the fixin's (saddles, bridles, etc.) and a place to keep him.


If you feel like following along with this meme, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

I wouldn't describe myself as lazy, per se. I just don't like to do things I don't want to do. There IS a difference. I have lots of energy - I'm just selective about when and how I choose to expend it.

Today's deadly sin is "sloth", which I am horrified is a deadly sin. Seems a little harsh, no?


Adorable. Not deadly.

Seven things I neglect to do:

1. Floss daily. I KNOW, disgusting. I'm really, really bad at remembering/bothering to floss. Every time I go to the dentist I get in trouble.

2. Get my finances in order. It would probably take all of half an hour to go to the bank, have a meeting, and set up a retirement account, but it just keeps not happening.

3. Put away clean laundry. It gets washed, dried, and folded in the basket. And then it stays there. Forever. I don't really need dressers and closets. Just a couple white laundry baskets will do!

4. Finish painting the trim. There is some white baseboard trim in our house that needs freshening up and I just...cannot...bring...myself...to...do...it. If anybody likes painting trim, I will pay you in brownies and cupcakes.

5. Get a hair style. Shoulder length, straight, and mouse-shit brown it is. I can't be bothered to experiment with cuts or colours or anything that requires more than the very minimum in maintenance. Boring hair is my cross to bear.

6. Be a bargain shopper. I hear these miracle stories about coupons. I swear some people actually make money on their grocery orders. I glance at the flyers, and usually clip the Michael's and Bed Bath and Beyond coupons, but when it comes to groceries, sales mean nothing. I end up getting the foods I like to eat whether they're full price or marked down. I definitely need a lesson in couponing!

7. Organize my photos. There are probably ten thousand digital photos on my laptop, which is definitely not the most reliable electronic device going. I'm scared I'll try to turn it on one day and find out all my pictures are gonzo. I really need to burn some photo discs, get some prints made off, put the goodies in frames and albums and put the others in nice photo boxes. But that doesn't sound like fun. So I don't.

If you feel like following along with this meme, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Happy Monday! I hope weekends were fantastic all around. Mine was pretty low-key and relaxing. Friday night we stayed in and watched a movie, Saturday I went to the gym and to a hockey game and Sunday was for yoga, sushi and Super Bowl (the first half, anyway).

I also ate a ton of Nutella in honour of World Nutella Day on Saturday. I bought a new jar just for the occasion and now I remember why I can't keep it in the house. I cannot walk through the kitchen without sticking my finger in the jar and digging out a glob. I'd weigh 500 pounds if it was a regular in the kitchen.

I don't really have anything exciting to post these days so I'm glad I'm in the midst of an ongoing meme that gives me a free pass for seven days. Things are good lately. Work is good and busy, I haven't had any situations at the gym, and people are generally behaving, so I have nothing to gripe about.

Today's sin is "wrath" and I'm supposed to list seven things that piss me off. Really?!?! Only seven???

1. Being grilled about when we're going to have a baby. Apparently, once you're married, you're supposed to have a baby. That's the thing to do. We've also been married for more than a year now so people are really anxious to find out when we're going to reproduce. (Side note, does anyone else find it gross when people announce that they're trying to conceive? Translation: "we're having sex constantly". Then you picture it. You do. Don't act like you don't. Solution: don't tell people when you're trying to conceive, and they won't think about you doin' it.) If I ever do get pregnant, I'm not telling anyone, even after the baby is born. It'll be "our little secret". No big deal.

2. People who cannot drive. This could actually be a list of about a hundred things in itself. People who drive too slow, too fast, cut in, hem and haw, get in the left lane and go under the speed limit, don't signal, drive with their signal lights on, sit through green lights, text and drive, et cetera.

3. People who check their lottery tickets at the drugstore when there's a huge lineup behind them.

4. Passive-aggressive Facebook statuses and tweets.

5. Airport security situations including being felt up and walking through the gross scanner that takes your nekkid photos. If I'm not getting paid, I don't want strangers seeing the goods.

6. Dishonesty.

7. Telemarketers.

If you feel like following along, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Speaking of envy, today was my second snow day this week. Jealous? Don't be. "Snow day" doesn't have quite the same ring when it's not about sledding, snowball fights, cartoon marathons and hot chocolate. I spent my snow day working. Granted, I got to wear yoga pants and hug the dog during stressy moments, when normally I would whine to my coworkers and search my desk for emergency chocolate.

The second deadly sin in this meme is envy and this is one I'm all too familiar with. Without further ado, here are seven things I lack and covet:

1. A smartphone. When I left my old job, I left behind my Blackberry and at the time was thrilled about it. The Blackberry had come to represent a ball and chain. I was on call, 24/7. But I was also able to tweet and Facebook stalk and BBM. My new phone is web enabled and purple and pretty but it's just not quite as slick as a Blackberry or an iPhone, which my husband has, and I'm constantly stealing to play Angry Birds. Maybe I should have made point #1 Angry Birds instead of 'a smartphone'.

2. Skinny legs. No matter how much I work out my legs always look just a little bit husky and I don't want to talk about it.

3. Musical talents. I don't think being able to plunk out Chopsticks on the piano counts.

4. A tan. I am definitely a whitey this winter. I refuse to go tanning for health reasons but that doesn't keep me from lamenting my paleness and being jealous of every girl who's less Casper than me.

5. A close family. My family is close and I love them but we aren't CLOSE close. We are a bunch of cool cucumbers. The only times we ever tell each other we love each other are if someone's died. Sometimes, that would be nice. Not the dying part, the lovey part.

6. Curly hair. My hair is poker straight and it refuses to curl or wave or do anything except lie there like a limp weasel.

7. That "spark". You know how some people just have magical, magnetic personalities? I wish I had that. Even just a little pinch of it.

If you feel like following along, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

I found this Seven Deadly Sins meme online and thought it sounded like fun, and gives me fodder for the blog for a solid week of posts, during a time where I'm so overwhelmed and flustered I can barely remember to chew my food.

The theme for Day 1 is Pride, and you're supposed to list seven good things about yourself. For the record, bragging about myself is probably my least favourite thing to do, and I apologize in advance if I come across as douchesque here.

1. I'm a good speller. (If you don't count the made-up words like "douchesque" above).

2. I'm a good baker and I love to make cookies, cupcakes and pretty much anything that is bad for you and comes out of an oven.

3. I'm very organized. To-do lists are my specialty and crossing things off makes me happy as a pig in poop.

4. I'm a good driver.

5. I can run five miles in under 45 minutes pretty easily - it's no marathon and it's not going to break any records but I like that I can get up and run five miles before work like it ain't no thang.

6. I'm good at coming up with ideas and solving problems.

7. I'm loyal to a fault.


If you feel like following along, here's the list of 'sins' and what to post for each:

Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.

Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.

Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.

Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.

Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.

Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Fun fun fun!